Under the Mommy Microscope

Sometimes the most well meaning people can make a new mom feel like she is under a microscope. The other day I arrived at a shoot and the lady I was photographing looked at me and said "OH my goodness girl! Didn't you just have a baby?" I smiled kind of sheepishly and answered "Well yeah." Then she gave me that supportive exuberant "WOW. You look fantastic." that every mother wants to hear. I modestly explained "She is 3 months old now". Then her face changed and she said "OH", the kind of oh that implied that she was revoking the previous comment. She went on to say something like "You had a baby 3 months ago. That makes sense then."

I know the whole conversation was ridiculous and I shouldn't put any weight on it (no pun intended). However, it made me feel like it should be expected that I would snap back into shape by this time and that's high expectations for any woman.

You think having a baby might take all eyes and hands off of your previously pregnant body, but on the contrary people actually examine you more in some ways. Sometimes it's people looking you up, down, and behind to tell you how you are coming along. Other times it's people analysing your every feature to compare to your baby. For example:

"She does look like you! I can see the resemblance all throughout this area (pointing to the nose region). You know how your nose points down? Her earlobes hang down too (grabbing on to your ear lobes and squinting at you from an uncomfortable distance). Your eyes are little smaller though. Hmmm, I think she's got her daddy's big eyes and lips (looking back at the baby). Look at that smooth dark skin. That is just gorgeous. Now neither of you have dark skin. Huh? Where did she get that beautiful complexion? My my, what a doll. She looks just like grandma."

By the end of the day you find yourself examining your own features in the mirror and wondering "does my nose really point down that much?"

Don't get me wrong, I don't want everyone feeling like they can never say anything about me or my kids and who they look like because it's usually really sweet. However, sometimes it's a little extreme and you can't help but feel like an item being evaluated at the antique roadshow. Has anyone else experienced this?