The Slideshow

As a mother I feel a lot more than I ever imagined that I would. These "graduations" that I just witnessed for Z and SJ were kind of emotional for me. 

First of all, I am excited that Z is moving onto 1st grade. I didn't cry or tear up one bit when he graduated.

 I did several weeks before though. You see, I was working on a slideshow for a high school graduation. You know the kind. You have baby pictures that transform to toddlers, who then fade into children with siblings, and eventually awkward adolescents, ending with a current Senior photo. Throw in some sappy music like "Stop This Train" by John Mayer and you've got yourself a recipe for tears. That's what happened to me as I was scanning and arranging photos of this class that I had no personal connections with whatsoever. There was one student in particular that reminded me of Z. Not that he was the spitting image, but there was something all too familiar about this little face looking up at the camera from the high chair. Or the photo of him heading off for his first day of school, gripping his oversized backpack, ready to face the world. In that moment I thought of this boy's mom and I felt like I knew her. She was me. Not in a creepy way, like I was the mother to a boy I would have had to have been pregnant with when I was 13. No. I just realized that his mom was probably just like me 12 years ago. She was standing over the highchair snapping countless photos of the messy face that she adored. She was just as proud as he was when he showed off the first fish he caught or the first time he dove into the deep end. She collected all of these photographs and reminisced as she sorted through them attempting to select her favorites to be shown for this right of passage ceremony that graduation is. It's hard to narrow down just a handful of photos from 18 years of life. At least that is how I would feel, if it were me. Thats when I stopped sniffling and snapped myself back into the reality that my son is graduating kindergarten NOT high school, and despite knowing how quickly it will pass by, I have so much time ahead of me. 

SJ's first preschool graduation wasn't much better. On the last day of school they sent home her nap time pillow and blanket. It's routine to send home the pillow case and blanket weekly for washing, but this time it was going home for good. When she goes back for her final year of preschool next year she will not be napping. This little polkadot blanket brings so many memories to the surface for me. It was a baby shower gift that I received when I was pregnant. The blanket was there when she was born.

 I sent it in with her to have at the hospital when she had her surgery.

 It was perfect when making forts…

or feeling sick. 

 It's not that it's a security blanket that she totes around like Linus. She would probably never even notice if it disappeared, but it seems it is always there when she needs it. The blankets isn't going anywhere any time soon, but it makes me sentimental just thinking about her moving on and growing up. Don't even get me started on her recognition ceremony.

Since SJ was diagnosed one of the most encouraging things in the midst of uncertainty is to see her deaf peers that are years ahead of her in their journey. That's what her school graduation is all about. The speeches were so moving, from alumni students to the students that are graduating (after years of extensive therapy and challenging work) to transfer into mainstream education. To hear them speak so clearly and confidently, sharing their accomplishments is truly inspirational, to say the least. 

I don't plan on getting this melodramatic at the end of every school year, but this is the first time I have done this and it was a big deal for both of them for different reasons. It wasn't the easiest year for our family both of them were starting new unknown journeys, but they have overcome every obstacle and I know they are on their way to big, big things. Right now they may just be on their way to being able to tie their own shoes, but before you know it that will just be one of the many pictures I sift through for the graduation slideshow.