Monday, December 1, 2014

Craft Shaming


It's that time of year! Time for caroling, snowy forecasts, and trimming the tree. It's also time to be bombarded with CRAFTS, ADVENT, and BAKING plans that would make Martha proud (could be Martha Stewart or busy Martha from Luke chapter 10. Take your pick).

I understand how some of these well-meaning festivities can rob us of Holiday joy. The pinterest perfect projects might feel like they overshadow the true meaning of Christmas. I know how that feels! That's actually not what I want to talk about though. I want to help you remember that other mom's holiday hubbub does not really concern you. You don't have to compete, you don't need to compare, and you defiantly don't need to make fun of anyone else for their choices.

As the rise of Etsy shops comes to peak so does the anti-craft. I see just as many craft shaming blogs and memes as I do tutorials lately. Some of them are funny. Some of them are BULLIES! Most of the time if you see someone publicly shaming another person because they are skinny, or crafty, or powerful, it is because the person doing the bullying is insecure.

It doesn't matter how much someone's home look like a Pottery Barn Christmas decor ad, or what someone does with their elf, or how much time they spent collecting toilet paper rolls and turning them into reindeer. You do Christmas your way and don't worry about it. I am not talking about spiritual convictions here. I am simply referring to the amount of time spent on embellishments.

I had already had these thoughts bouncing around in my mind since I noticed everyone from organic moms to back to school moms getting grief for how they choose to spend their time and money. Then I stumbled upon this link on Face book posted by a bride-to-be. The article was written by another bride who was fed up with all the hype that goes into wedding planning, which is totally understandable. She had all kinds of complaints about those kinds of brides and those kinds of weddings and how super low key and laid back her wedding would be. I didn't think too much of it. In fact I relate because I have my own rants about the wedding business these days. Then I read a comment from the bride's grandmother (or wise older relative of some kind). It said something to the effect of

I am happily anticipating celebrating with [the groom] and you in whatever way you desire. I have to say, however, that the shared link made me feel a bit sad for the writer who felt compelled to be critical and negative in order to claim their own uniqueness. I believe you are more confident in being comfortable expressing who God created you to be, and your family loves and respects you for that. No justifications of individuality are needed!

Let that last line sink in "No justifications of individuality are needed!".
Being the strange creeper that I am I copied the comment and shared it with some friends and my husband and now 6 months later I am sharing it with you.  This woman I don't even know so profoundly spelled out exactly what I have been feeling about these mom bullies. Don't get me wrong, I have a sense of humor, but I also don't want to send mixed messages to the little ones about why it is okay to shame someone even if they do get up at 4:00 am to make an elaborate scene for their elf on a shelf. 

 Psalm 1:1 says blessed is the man that does not sit in the seat of scoffers.  

I like what Denny Burk has to say about this verse 
The scoffer sets his derision on other people. The scoffer has a general sense of everyone else’s inadequacies, and very little sense of his own. He loves to take his seat and entertain his friends with narratives of other men’s shortcomings (Proverbs 18:8; 26:22). He is a man of division (Proverbs 16:28). He may be the life of the party, but when he goes out peace comes in (Proverbs 22:10; 26:20).


Let's focus on encouraging one another this holiday season (and keep it going for 2015). Let's celebrate our simplicity or creativity in our own unique ways. Whether you only purchase fair trade presents, or make all of your presents, or start your holiday shopping on Thanksgiving Eve we can find ways to build each other up regardless. We can just enjoy the holidays as the one of kind individuals that we are. No justification needed.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

Seems like people can be rude about just about anything these days, huh? All I know is that the joy my 3 year old feels when we use glitter paint makes up for any mean comment anyone can make to me!

http://queenofthelandoftwigsnberries.wordpress.com

blestbutstrest said...

Well said! I'm crafty in spurts (usually with years in-between ;) ), and my kids grew up before Pinterest and Facebook (and I'm not much of a magazine buyer). But yes--we all need to be happy n our own skin and keep ourselves from turning into scoffers!

{amy} said...

Good stuff! I go through phases where I'm craftier than I am at other times. I would like to have more time and resources to create cute things around the house, but I've also recently realized that I'm more minimalist than I used to be. To each his [or her] own! :)

~Karrilee~ from Abiding Love, Abounding Grace said...

Amen! This makes me think of a post by Myquillyn Smith (aka The Nester... yes, the DIY blogger extraordinaire!) about how she always has a Holiday NOT To Do List... it's so good! So much grace and freedom - and NOT giving in to comparing and competing!

Anonymous said...

I love this! I always have grand intentions of being a crafter extraordinaire but fall woefully short. Let's use this season to point one another to the Reason for it and encourage one another. Life is stressful enough :)

Jessica @ Barefoot by the Sea said...

So true, I love what you have written here! I often think about women in general and how we can be so harsh towards one another. I guess that theme is not only whether you stay at home with your children, work and Tuesday care, everyone is a critic! As people, you are absolutely right, we have to focus on encouraging one another! I guess I never realized people had such strong opinions about crafting too! Thanks for this post, you certainly helped me think about the bigger picture!

Unknown said...

The only craft shaming I've ever done was making fun of my OWN crafting failures. Mostly, I'm in awe of the women who can wield a glue gun and make things look good. I think in general, there's a bit of a backlash against the inauthentic over-the-top stuff we see on Pinterest and in magazines.

Zion said...

Yes Susan! You hit the nail on the head. "there's a bit of a backlash against the inauthentic over-the-top stuff we see on Pinterest" I think that is what people are getting tired of. In the same way people got tired of women having to weigh 100 pounds to be represented in entertainment or advertisment. It's just hard to recognize sometimes the difference between caring enough to help cultivate change and just mud slinging out of bitterness.