Sleep Habits

I sleep Indian style at night, with my feet tucked behind my knees. My husband hates it.

I change positions a lot once I fall asleep so I don't stay in Indian style (or criss cross apple sauce for the younger generation) all night. I have never met anyone else that does this, but when I blogged about it several years ago I had a comment from Krista S that said 

"My husband also sleeps indian style, but he even crosses his arms too! Very annoying...after 18 years though I've gotten used to it."

Out of all the times this has come up in conversation that one comment, from someone I don't even know, is the only time I have heard that there is someone else out there with this same quirk. For my husband's sake sometimes I will compromise with what he calls "the figure 4", where the leg closest to him is straight and my other leg is still bent.

My other strange sleep habit is that I start off with socks, but then I kick them off of my feet after a few minutes. By the end of the week there is a pile of socks either collecting at the bottom of the bed or sometimes they've fallen onto the floor at the foot of the bed. This only applies in the winter. So I guess I just really like my feet to be warm.

The thing I find interesting is that I have friends that swear by keeping their feet out of the covers at night.

 Then lately I've been seeing things online that suggest it's proven to help you sleep better! 

So even if you've mastered your sleep position and the warmth or coolness of your feet, the atmosphere of the room is another issue you have to deal with.  

My husband likes music when he is going to sleep, but I don't. I usually turn it off once he's out. I'll get in trouble for this one, but he listened to music through the night in his college dorm room too and so did his roommate. The problem was J wanted to play Mariah Carey and his best friend liked Celine Dion.

 I tend to fall asleep the easiest when it's completely dark. I can manage okay, but when I was pregnant with Ezie and struggling with insomnia I had to wear a sleep mask. My other soothing sleep technique is just plain riding in the car. My tend to sleep well in the car too. I assumed that was normal, but I have a friend whose little ones sleep way better than mine in their own beds, but no matter how tired they are they don't sleep on car rides. 

 I know this is a completely random topic, but I find the uniqueness of individual sleep habits fascinating. 

I just have to know, how do you fall asleep at night? 

The Hardest Job on the Planet

I saw this comedian on youtube that was joking about how the statement motherhood is the hardest job on the planet is an exaggeration. He compares motherhood to coal miners dying of the black lung, implying that risking your life for a job would be harder.  I would never describe motherhood as life threatening, but in a few rare cases it actually is. The comedian then dramatically explains how difficult it must be to bend down and put a dvd in the dvd player while you are still in your pajamas. The most ignorant thing he said was how mothers can send their kids to bed ANYTIME THEY WANT so that they can have a drink and watch The Price Is Right.

Would't that be nice!?

Now I understand how comedy works, and even though I think this guy has no idea what he is talking about I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that everything he said was 100% sarcastic. However, there are people out there that buy into his idea of motherhood as a brainless effortless gig and that is why I want to talk about it.

First off I would agree that there are plenty of more physically and intellectually demanding careers out there. Being a mom isn't even really a job at all in my opinion. One reason is because unlike a job, motherhood isn't just an investment of time and skill, it demands attention from ever fiber of your being.

During pregnancy a mother's body will literally be stretched and strained to it's maximum potential in order to create and sustain a new human. After her body pushes the baby out of her (something I'd love to see that comedian try to even fathom) then the child will depend on her for not only physical nourishment, but the love and care that has been scientifically proven is necessary for life. There will be times she will be stuck in a car with relentless screaming that could bring a soldier to his knees. She will clean up vomit and feceses more times than you can count. Her nipples will probably be bitten, her sleep will be stolen, and her hair will be pulled. All that and we aren't even through the first year.

The challenges only increase as the child grows and it's not a bad thing, but it certainly is NOT easy.

The emotional side of motherhood is far more intricate and complex than any job could ever be. Some people may feel like they are emotionally invested in their jobs, but mothers are attached at the core of who they are. When the child suffers the mother feels the same pain multiplied. The intensity of her passion for her children is pumping through her blood because those children are a part of her and share her DNA.

I could go on and on about all that motherhood entails, but I have already wasted too much time responding to a really stupid youtube video that was recommended on Facebook, and the only thing worse than that is that I also read a couple of the idiotic comments. Apparently there are a lot of oblivious people out there who really do think moms sit around all day playing Candy Crush Saga and snacking on sushi or something.

Just to be clear as I wrap this thing up, some women birth children, but never become mothers. Some women never birth children, but are the strongest mothers of all. It's a relationship, a lifestyle, a gift, a sacrifice, and a calling, but not necessarily a job.  To say motherhood is job implies that you are paid, or that you can go off duty, or retire. So I don't think that motherhood is the hardest job on the planet because that statement isn't powerful enough to describe what being a mom really is.

Messy Mom Movie

What an adventurous day Saturday was! 

For those that haven't been bombarded by all of my announcements online, I'll fill you in. I am working on relaunching my website and over the weekend I did a professional video shoot for what will be the "Messy Mom Welcome Video". 

The Story Board

The set location was in my brother's basement. He has a recording/video studio which was staged to look like a living room. 

There was whole team of people helping out from art director to stylist and more. 

 

Truth be told it was just friends and family, but having titles makes it feel more legit.  

We did take after take. I think it was 6 scenes total. All three of my kids were involved too, so it was exhausting. 

Well worth it though. 

There is one final scene that we decided reshoot later, but it's just Ezie. So he and I will be going back to my brother's studio tomorrow for that. 

It's not easy being a celebrity! Just joking of course, but I have always loved acting and have dreamed of being a part of a live studio audience or an extra in a movie, and this felt pretty close. 

The big premiere day is scheduled for May 9th which is this MOTHER'S DAY!!! 

I have so many exciting things planned for that week. It's going to be like a big ol' carnival here on the blog... or maybe a circus... or worst case scenario a poorly planned frat party. Things are happening though, that much I know for sure and YOU get to be in on it all from ground zero. 

I did want to give a little heads up that there is A LOT that goes into moving 7 years of content to a new home. So things are going to start to slow down a little bit here for the next month as I get ready for all of this. I'll still be around, but I just wanted to mention that I might be posting less frequently for now. 

That's the latest update. I hope everyone had a beautiful Easter Sunday. It looks like the spring weather is finally here! God bless.

Coming This Mother's Day

I have given hints and teasers over the past few months about some changes taking place here at MessyMom.com and this weekend things are starting to get real.

Part of the secret I've been keeping is that I will be doing a welcome video for Messy Mom. I dreamt up the script and wrote a rough draft a looong time ago, but the timing has never been right. It still isn't perfect, but it never will be and my brother is just amazing in the way he really takes action and helps me pursue my creative endeavors. If it weren't for him I really would never do it. He is a professional videographer and will be co-directing, shooting, and editing the entire project. I am a little bit nervous and still somewhat in shock that this is actually happening! I am definitely happy though.  

My other brother is going to be helping me by converting my website and I don't have that on the calendar just yet, but it will be soon. We even had a brainstorming session this week where we talked about the vision and direction for Messy Mom and also a book idea. That's right. I am writing a book. More details on that later. 

I've got videographer on one side and a web designer on the other, both eager to help me. It's every bloggers dream. 

I am truly the luckiest sister in the world! 

From left to right: My dad, my husband, me, my brothers Jeremy, and Brandon.
This photo really says it all. We love art, design, technology,
 and yes we do love our Mac Book Pros (except this photo is over 8 years old!)

My GOAL is to have everything launched on Mother's Day which is May 10. That's only a month away. It may not be possible, but I am not going to cry and give up if that doesn't happen. My backup deadline is my birthday (June 27th). Or maybe it will just be a random wild card day. I am a planner, but I am also realistic and flexible when it comes to execution. 

 If you aren't already following me on social media than you need to, because I'll be posting behind the scenes updates as we go through the whole creative movie making process. 

www.facebook.com/themessymom

www.instagram.com/messymom

www.twitter.com/themessymom 

Catch me this weekend on Facebook, instagram, and twitter. Otherwise I'll see you back here on Monday! 
Have a Happy Easter Everyone. 

Let's Talk About Water Birth

"Hi Natalie! I've been reading a lot of posts on Messy Mom about your child birthing experiences and advice! That is super helpful! Thank you for writing those. I was wondering if you'd written any more posts about water birthing. I am thinking about this for our birth! I would love to hear your tips and advice! "


This question comes from first time expectant mom Bethany who blogs over at "Again We Say Rejoice" Isn't their pregnancy announcement adorable!?

 I was thrilled to get this question from Bethany because I am very passionate about water birth, but other than sharing my birth stories I have never blogged about the topic specifically. Granted, I am NOT an expert on water birth so I am not going to dish out a bunch of facts and statistics, but I will share my take on it from personal experience.

I have heard water birth referred to as nature's epidural and after having one birth that was not in water and two that were I can agree with that statement.

The way it works is that the baby receives oxygen through your umbilical cord and does not inhale until exposed to air. Since the baby is already underwater (or more accurately in amniotic fluid) in the womb for 9 months this makes for a smooth transition into the world. Think of it like having the lights gradually turned on rather than going from complete darkness all night long and then suddenly having someone shining a bright light in your face. That's not why I had a water birth, it's just one of the potential benefits.

Here is some more information about the entire process

PREPARATION

Preparing for a water birth can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. One thing you have to know ahead of time is whether or not it is offered by your care provider or birthing facility. Even if they do offer water birth their criteria might determine some of the methods you choose.

I know for a lot of home births people order inflatable birth pools, but I have no experience with this personally.

I will say that my first water birth was completely unplanned! I had planned to birth on my bed and had prepared everything accordingly, but I was comfortable in the bathtub and my daughter came so quickly that it just happened that way! 

This proves more than anything just how little preparation is needed for a water birth.

Attire

I was nude for my first water birth and wore a maternity swimsuit (with no bottoms) the second time around. The swimsuit was a lot like wearing a slip or a sundress. I really liked it because I didn't have to worry about being completely exposed. It kept me covered in and out of the water. The swimsuit was stretchy enough for me to pull the front down and breastfeed, which is an important factor to consider. I did this immediately after the delivery for skin to skin contact and both babies latched on and started breastfeeding while I was still in the water, which means it happened almost right away because I did not stay in the water long.

Timing

Typically you want to wait until you are really in active labor when you get in the water. This way the water is fresh and warm. For me I just waited until contractions were really intense. Your midwife or doula can let you know how far along you appear to be and give you instructions at that point.

Comfortable Positions

Unlike other types of birth there aren't a lot of tools and tricks because the water itself is the pain relief! Warm water is stress relieving, soothing, and literally reduces a lot of the weight of labor. It also naturally massages the perineum to promote elasticity and prevent tearing. One simple item you can use to get comfortable is a towel that can be rolled up or folded to create a soft surface for you to lean on.

With my first water birth I had my back against the edge of the tub (the same as when you bathe) and birthed in what I would refer to as the traditional position (lying down with your legs apart). With water birth number two I was on my knees leaning over the tub.

One reason is because I was Group B Strep positive which meant I had to have an IV. It was covered in plastic and could get wet, but it was not supposed to stay submerged in the water. There is a lot more information about this, but that's another topic altogether. You won't know if you are GBS positive until they do the test toward the end of your pregnancy.


Final Thoughts

There are so many different approaches to water birth. It's a very personal decision.

For me I had the unplanned water birth in my bathtub with a CPM (certified professional midwife) at home and birthed the placenta in the tub. I was near Dallas Texas at the time and the location is important, because laws vary from state to state.

Then I had a hospital water birth in Lexington Kentucky with an APRN (advanced practice registered nurse)/ CNM (certified nurse midwife) and delivered the placenta in the bed afterwards. The midwife also did the circumcision.

If water birth is an option where you are delivering then I say at least have it available just in case it turns out to be the place you feel most comfortable. You can always change your mind! No matter how things go when you deliver it's important to remember that you will NOT disappoint your baby. The baby just wants to be out of the womb. The hard part is knowing that for yourself and doing whatever feels best for you!

What Is Going On In This Picture!?

There are a lot of photos on my phone. Most of them never get posted anywhere. Some of them are pretty strange too. Especially if you don't know the story behind it. That's why I decided to pick 5 random phone photos and see if you can figure out for yourself just what in the world is going on in these photos. Or maybe I'll just tell you. I hope you'll have fun with this as I introduce my first installment of...

ONE 

What is going on in this one is pretty obvious. Batman is sitting in his highchair watching cartoons. This is not an abnormal occurrence in our home.

TWO

My parents humungous cat is laying on the dog bed. 

THREE

SJ is wearing my knee high boots with her pajamas and they fit perfectly! 

FOUR

Speaking of pajamas, I came into the living room one day to find that Ezie had started up the Yoga DVD and was doing his morning workout. 

Here are some bonus shots I took while spying on him. 

Hey, sometimes I need to grab the console for balance too. There's no shame in that. 

He's a little behind Rodney here in the upward dog position.

Lastly, the warrior pose. Namaste. 

 FIVE

 What is going on in this picture is "Discreet bladder protection". I had J pick up some pads from the store and let's just say you should never send a man to do a woman's job.

So those are my 5. Show me what you've got by posting one of your random phone outtakes on instagram along with the hashtag #whatisgoingoninthispicture. That is not a one of kind hashtag, but  if you tag @messymom I'll know what it's about. If you don't have Instagram feel free to share with me on Facebook, Twitter, or via email. I'll pick one to post on the blog along with a shout out next month when we do another round of #WhatIsGoingOnInThisPicture? 

Now go check that photo stream! 

Spring on the Summer Plans

Today starts spring break for my children. J's college had their's a couple weeks ago. We don't have any major plans for the break and we still don't have the typical spring weather. We did have snow flurries over the weekend though!

Now that I have kids in school I almost feel like spring gets overlooked.

Spring is like the Thanksgiving of the seasons. 

You know how it can be difficult to really focus on Thanksgiving when you have Christmas to plan? I am pretty hard nosed about keeping it in order, but I have heard complaints.

Anyway, it's the same thing this time of year. You have to start making summer plans so early that you inevitably end up racing through spring. See what I mean? Spring break and Thanksgiving are great, but often over shadowed by their big brothers Summer Break and Christmas.

J has already had to register for his summer classes. I may have been a little premature when I talked about our big breakthrough in case anyone is keeping up with all of that stuff. I won't even go into details because the moment I announce it on the internet it will change again. I do know his schooling won't last forever. I also know that God has a plan and J will have a job. That's all I know though right now. Which isn't easy for me, because I am a planner!

SJ has registered for her summer classes already. I know that sounds silly because she is preschool, but as a special needs girl she gets to go to some special classes for all of June and a the very beginning of July. The cost is already covered which is a huge answer to prayer. This will be her third year in summer school and every year we have hiccups with financial aid. The Lord has always made a way though. It's a great reminder that He is forever faithful.

Z will be going to summer camp for the first time this year! We have yet to register, but I need to do that ASAP. I am a little nervous about this milestone, but I know it will be fine. I grew up at this church and I have a very close personal relationship with all of the leadership, but it's still hard to send him away for multiple nights. I know he'll have a blast though. He is extremely excited. He'll get to swim and zip line and most importantly learn about God. This children's ministry has an awesome worship band too, so I am jealous that I can't be a part of that.


So, those are the reasons why I am thinking of summer when it's still 38 degrees outside. Because I have to! These activities have deadlines. Before you know it I'll be registering them for the next school year. My baby girl is going to be in Kindergarten! But, I am not thinking about that right now. One step at a time.

Do you have any summer plans yet?