Jealousy

The Messy Mom Love Story Part 3 (1999-2000)

I may have had my little relationships throughout high school, but that is not to say that Jeremy didn’t have his own love triangle. Women flocked to him and he didn’t exactly shy away from the attention. And for someone who had no feelings for him whatsoever, I sure did let it bother me. In fact half the time my feelings toward him were nothing short of hostile. I think you would define what we had as a love hate relationship. I got a diary for Christmas that year and I vented all my frustrations through sporadic scribbles in my journal.

I don't think there is any better way to tell this part of the story than to let my scribbles speak for themselves . If they don’t make sense it’s because I was a very confused 17 year old trying to deny the fact that I was jelouse of Jeremy hanging out with another girl, who for the purposes of this blog we will call Christy. It's all a little embarrassing, but it's a true story and I am putting it out there word for word.

1-03-00
“Today we saw Toy Story 2 for the second time and Jeremy came with us. Jeremy is so weird. I love him but sometimes I just wish I could figure him out. He will be really cool to me one day and ignore me the next. Right now he is fine, but he never tells me what he is doing. Not that it is any of my business, but it just seems like it wouldn’t be that big of a deal."

1-07-00
“Today Jeremy and some other friends were over and I will admit they get on my nerves a lot. I guess because Jeremy and I used to be close but now it’s all just a joke. We make shots at each other and that is like our whole relationship.”

1-18-00
“Jeremy and Christy were over again and they are really close now. I doubt they would ever admit to it being anything more than friends but, I don’t know, either way I say take your flirtiness and get out of my house with it. Okay I understand I am being mean, but I have a good explanation if I could get into it.”

1-25-00
“Today Jeremy was fairly nice to me. He apologized for being rude and it made me want to cry. I still think he hates me though.”

1-30-00
“Jeremy and I are cool now. We went shopping together after school and talked a lot about him and Christy and whey they get on my nerves sometimes."

2-08-00
“On Friday Jeremy and Christy were as clingy as ever. Everything is cleared up between me and them, but I have to admit I still get very annoyed by them. My mom doesn’t understand why I am bitter but she doesn’t see the same side of Jeremy as I do, but don’t get me wrong I love the guy to death and I would do anything for him.”

I am well aware of how ridiculous I sounded, but I do appreciate the honesty, passion, and intensity of my emotions back then. Unfortunately it was all overshadow by a heap of confusion. I guess sometimes that's just the way love is.
The next journal entry changes everything!

Click here for part 4