The Moment That Everything Changed

The Messy Mom Love Story Part 4

Here is yet another journal entry. Just to fill in some of the gaps here *Craig, we’ll call him, is a guy that had been interested in me. We had gone out a few times, and he was perfect boyfriend material, but I just never felt connected with him.

February 15, 2000
“Yesterday was absolutely horrible. I had no valentine and was exhausted from working ALL WEEKEND. I got home from school and I just went in my room and cried. Then my mom came in and told me I had a visitor. It was *Craig so I tried to pull myself together and went out there, and we talked for a long time.
You know what? I know I’ve been acting weird and emotional. I’ve just felt different lately. So I am going to leave out all of the details of my lame teenage life for just a moment. I may get to talking about it all sooner or later, but for now I am just going to write.
Jeremy is sick tonight. He just has the flu, but I feel bad for him. I know I have said a lot of mean things about him but he is the greatest guy I have ever known (or at least one of). I love him very much in a way that I cannot explain. It’s not romantic love, or brotherly love, or even friendly love, I don’t know what it is but I care about him a lot and it kills me to see him sick.”


So that was it, that was the moment that everything changed February 15, 2000. There I was just scribbling away as usual and suddenly, I just couldn’t do it anymore. Jeremy felt bad and I felt bad for him, deeply.

I would have never remembered any of that or even known that it had happened if I hadn’t written it down. It was about a month later that things came out in the open between Jeremy and I. We talked about our feelings for one another and how it could never happen. I was a couple months shy of 18, I was still just a girl in the youth group. He was the 24 year old worship leader. So we decided we would remain just friends, but of course it’s not that simple.

Continue to Part 4