Mom Life Crisis

There are many moments in a mom's life that would be considered worthy of a Hallmark card. When I became a mother I felt nothing short of privileged. It was one of the greatest days of my life. There is nothing like the feeling I get when my son puts his arms around me and says "I love my mama". I don't know that there is any greater calling, anything more beautiful than the image of motherhood.

On the other hand there are some images of motherhood that aren't depicted in the Renaissance paintings or willow tree figurines.

I mean really, when you hear your mama jokes like "Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon" and you realize, oh crap I am a mama. Or when it hits you that your child could step on a crack and break your back at any moment (hopefully I am not the only one that knows this rhyme).

I remember being at the fair last year and a kid had on a white t-shirt that all his friends had signed and written all over in permanent marker. One of the things that stuck out to me about his shirt was that someone wrote "Josh hearts his mommy". I gasped, realizing that this was a joke. WHY would that have to be a joke? It is perfectly fine if 8 year old Josh loves his mommy. I pictured Z being 8 and knowing that it may not be the coolest thing ever to love your mommy and it scared me a little bit.

Scenario #2 happened when I had my babysitter come to a job with me to help out with Z. On the ride there she was playing telling telephone with Z and doing funny voices and one of them was "Z it's your momma calling, I hope you're being good". Only, the voice sounded like a mixture of a witch and some old yankee. Once again why does the mom voice always have to be so nerdy? Does she realize that I am Z's mom and she is impersonating me? I can't believe I am being depicted as an old yankee witch?

Shortly after these incidences and a few others I began to sink into what I call a "mom life crisis". It's different than a midlife crisis because it is not determined by age, but it's similar because you start to feel like you have to rediscover a lost identity. I began wanting to go hang out late with some of my girlfriends, hit the clubs, sing karaoke. Who cares if these are things I never did when I was single or childless. All of the sudden I had the urge to make myself young, cool, and independent. Luckily I never followed through with any of it and my crisis didn't last long.

The point is sometimes motherhood can have you feeling like you are on top of the world, while other times you realize that you are the butt of the joke. That's okay though because I might be a rookie at this, but I have seen enough to know that the rewards far outweigh the sacrifice.