This week I have shared some practical tips for Teachable Parenting including; Logical Consequences, How to Respond to Whining, and Giving Choices. Today's tip is to avoid lectures and keep things short and simple. All of the three books I have previously sited will give this same advice, especially with very
young children, LESS IS MORE! Sometimes it’s a loving motives that make you want to explain
every detail of why the child is in trouble or can’t do something, but just
remember the Charlie Brown teacher “waaah, waaaah, waaaah, waaah wah” and try to keep
your child from tuning you out. Love and Logic has tons of one liner phrases to
help keep things simple. A simple phrase used both repeatedly and
consistently along with actions is more meaningful. It becomes a conditioned response. A couple examples from Love and Logic are "Uh-Oh" and "Bummer".
So you would say “uh oh, we
don’t throw our food, looks like your done eating.” And take the plate away.
Or “ I said not to hit
your sister. Bummer. I guess that means you need to leave the living room area since
you aren’t playing nice”
Honestly, I am not very good
at this method, but it’s something to consider. It also gives you a chance to take a breath and think before you react. Danny silk describes it as “One liner phrases that are there for your
sanity. They are a way for you to kick your brain into neutral while the other
person is trying to drive you into the Crazy Ditch”.
One final tip from Wild
Things. "Be concise. The more words a teacher or parent uses, the greater the
odds that a boy will tune you out. Try to keep your verbal instructions to no
more than a minute. And be sure not to layer instructions one after another."
As
a girl, I can attest to this being true for both genders in some cases, especially
depending on the age.
Those are just some ideas. It doesn’t come naturally, at least not for me. But sometimes I
have to save my vent sessions for my mom, husband, or Jesus and spare my child so
that they can process rather than tune me out.
This is day 15 of a 31 Day Series. For more Teachable Parenting click HERE.
7 comments:
I like this. We are working on the parenting challenges of a 2 and 3 year old, and I TOTALLY get this. I'm also trying to shift from "punishments" to "consequences" - same end results, but different wording. The consequence of breaking the rules is: a time out, leaving the table, whatever. The consequence for obeying the rules is: praise, the opportunity to do something special, dessert, whatever.
Oh, yes, I agree with the "keep it short & simple!" I struggle with being concise anyway, but definitely find I tend to ramble on when parenting my daughter. I liked your Peanuts comparison!
These are great tips. Even though I'm not a parent, I'll think back to these, and use them when babysitting my nieces and nephews.
Great advice! I had two girls before I had a son and it feels like I'm relearning. No wonder he often looks at me funny if I ask him to do multiple things at once. (that and the fact that he's not yet 5) ;)
I LOVE this!! I have three boys and I catch myself going into "lecture mode" ALL THE TIME!!! I really should practice this!!!
Great tips! Have you seen the @wildandfree IG community? They are talking about the Wild Things book as well.
No I haven't, but thank you Jennifer, I will check that out!
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