The Biblical Model for New Covenant Parenting

The foundation of my beliefs in what I have been labeling “Teachable Parening” is that my family unit can be a reflection of God’s relationship with us. When we look at the Bible to see how God relates to us as his children, we see that in the Old Testament there was a system of external control. There were priests that were your connection to God and sacrifices for the atonement of sin. In the old covenant things were rough, God did indeed seem angry. Then in Jeremiah 31:27 it was prophesied that there would be a new covenant that would change everything. In the New Testament we learn how God gave his son for us and paid the price for all of our sin on the cross. We now have a new covenant with God. He is in us and moves through us. All we have to do is allow him to.

This is all the basis for Christianity and for believers it’s good news, but it’s also something most of us have known for a long time. But do we apply these New covenant principles in relating to our children? Should we?

In Loving Our Kids On Purpose Danny Silk gets to the heart of the matter as he writes 

“On the cross, Jesus dealt with the condition that required God to relate to us from the outside. As a result, punishment, wrath, and intimidation have all disappeared from His attitude toward us. God is a safe place. Because sin has been dealt with in the New Covenant, we no longer need to be punished or controlled but need to learn to manage our freedom responsibly, which changes the goal of government as well as the goal of parenting. When love and freedom replace punishment and fear as the motivating forces in the relationship between parent and child, the quality of life improves dramatically for all involved."

I know it sounds crazy to even suggest love and freedom in place of punishment. Do we want to let our kids run a muck? No, that is not the strategy here. There is a difference between punishment and discipline We all need to be disciplined, especially children. We all need guidance and correction, and to understand that there are consequences for our actions. Teachable Parenting is not about omitting any of that, but the main goal is to break the cycle of disrespect and create a culture of honor by focusing on the character and heart above all. 

When the new covenant was established and Jesus went up into heaven he left us with the Holy Spirit which is another element of the model we have for our family. In John 16:7 Jesus describes the one coming as the comforter or helper. Then in 2 Corinthians 3:17 we see that where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom! One more verse for the home stretch which I quoted yesterday 2 Timothy 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a sound mind. Or I love what the amplified says 
“a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

So in this new covenant we see God working on our hearts from the inside out and we embrace a lifestyle of freedom, comfort, love etc. then I look at the style of parenting that uses threats and intimidation to get results in behavior and it just doesn’t seem to gel. There is a contradiction there.

Over the course of this series we are going to continue to explore what it looks like to be a teachable parent and to have teachable children. There will be a lot more practical tools along with personal testimonies, but for know let’s just look over God’s word and really pray about what a new covenant parent looks like and ask for guidance on a specific and personal level. God cares enough to customize an answer that is perfect for you. Freedom awaits. 

This is day 10 of a 31 day series. For more Teachable Parenting click HERE.