Wednesday, July 25, 2012

SJ's Signs Part 2

We leave for Texas in a couple weeks and it will be our first visit back to our home state since SJ's diagnosis. Even though she doesn't sign a ton, I want our Texas family and friends to be able to know what she is saying when she does. I knew I needed to make another signing video of the signs that she uses. I wasn't planning on doing it when I was all hot, sweaty, and had not showered or done my make up, but when SJ hopped up on my lap while I was at the computer it seemed like as good a time as any. In the video it might seem like I am apprehensive about traveling to Texas or the wedding. This is not the case, it was just that I was trying to wing it and it was my ASL vocabulary that I was apprehensive about sooo... anyway enough disclaimers. Here is the second installment of SJ's signs. 



She understands many other signs and she will mimic a lot, but those are some of the main ones that she uses on her own along with; no, milk, more, please, potty, eat, help, thank you, all done, and hurt, which are all included on the first video  except for milk and hurt. 


Milk is pretty easy, just squeeze your fist to represent milking a cow. 
Hurt is just like pointing 2 fingers together wherever the pain is.


I heard that some people had a hard time viewing the first video so I have posted them on youtube in case that helps

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ze_5HhJMss&feature=youtu.be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyeXMkgRSpw

Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks! 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

When Lightning Strikes

We were excited about the storm that blew through earlier this week. Water is even more appreciated when you have a garden,
Z and his cousin with fresh picked zucchinis from our garden. 

 but things got a little scary when lightning struck the property and we heard  an extremely loud POP!!! We immediately lost all electricity. Everyone is okay, but the tv, furnace, and modem were all permanently fried. So, that has been no fun and it will be a while to have everything corrected/replaced. You can remember my parents in your prayers.

Everything else has been going well. I recently had blood work and a glucose test for this current pregnancy and the results showed me to be in perfect health! In the midst of all we have going on right now, I am grateful for this report.

My friend and I at Cornerstone. She is also due on October 10th.

Also, thanks to this baby we found a pediatrician. All the places I have called have shut me down saying that they are only open to newborns and are taking no new patients otherwise, but I am about to have a newborn which was the loop hole that this particular Doctor needed to sign up all three of my children. SJ and Z will have their first appointment next month. I was never satisfied with the first doctor we saw when we moved here and having someone that works well with our family will be a huge load off.

In other family news I found a preschool for Z. We didn't feel ready to enroll him into Kindergarten even though in Kentucky he is the right age. He'll start next month and will be going all day Tuesdays-Thursdays.
 Z signing I love You (this is the screen saver on my phone)

Honestly, I am still in disbelieve that my little guy is going to be starting school. Granted it is Preschool, but it is a private christian school, NOT day care. They will be working on all the things he needs to be prepared for elementary schools and from what I understand these days that includes a lot! I am actually REALLY excited about this next major milestone for our son. He's excited too. He's got his Diego back pack and a brand new Spiderman lunch box. We'll see how he feels after his first week.  

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Processing Deafness

Just to let everyone know right up front, we are doing just fine. SJ is great, we are still learning to sign and speech therapy is underway. I just wanted to be transparent about the reality of all the complicated aspects of this process.

The moment I knew there was potential hearing loss for SJ I started researching. I've tried to learn all about the deaf community through videos, websites, reading material, and talking to anyone I could find that was involved in the world of hearing loss. I learned that they have their own culture, defined as a group of people that share a language, values, rules for behavior, and traditions. I read a lot of fascinating and encouraging things that made me want to delve deeper into this culture, but some of the articles I read made me feel like, as a hearing person, I was an unwanted trespasser. I didn't understand why some deaf communities seemed so exclusive and defensive. Then I learned about the oppression that started taking place in the 1800's when deaf people were forced to learn ways of oral communication and they had to fight to preserve their language, which was almost completely wiped away by the idea that deafness was a burden that needed to be removed from society. At this time it was also believed that no deaf person should intermarry in order to try to eradicate the problem. I also learned how up until recently, including in my mothers generation, many deaf people have been misdiagnosed as mentally challenged and therefor isolated from the opportunity to communicate or become social. It's no wonder some deaf people feel like they have to fight against the hearing world to preserve their identity.

When I was told that my daughter had severe to profound hearing loss, I didn't know where that placed her on the hearing loss spectrum. I tried to look up information, but my results were inconclusive therefor I announced to the world that SJ was hard of hearing and not deaf. Since then her team of experts, doctors, therapists etc. have said otherwise. SJ is deaf and I just didn't know what to call it.

I read one article that said;
 In hearing culture, the terms used to describe deaf people have to do with their hearing loss. The term "hard of hearing" is better than "deaf." Hard of Hearing people are generally regarded as being easier to communicate with and fit in better with hearing people. In Deaf culture, though, the terms are quite the opposite. There is one label for people who are part of Deaf culture...Deaf. 


Not to be defensive, but I did not use the term hard of hearing because I thought it was better. I am not ashamed to have a deaf daughter, misinformed maybe, but the only reason I didn't call SJ deaf is because no one told me! I was afraid to offend the deaf community. I feared that by labeling SJ deaf we could potentially get kicked out of a party that we were never actually invited to. When you learn about deaf culture you learn about deaf pride, which is a beautiful thing, but it can be intimidating when it's new to you. 


As a mother of a deaf two year old I am responsible for the decisions in her life at this time. The more I have learned about this whole hearing loss process the more I feel like I am in-between two worlds. I am trying VERY hard to embrace ASL, but it never fails that I am breaking rules about sign names, and grammar, and the idea that maybe the cochlear implant is not from the devil. 

The ironic thing is, I've always wanted to adopt. For me personally my heart has ached for the many minority babies in America that need a home. I have always felt like we would some day be a biracial family, I have even referenced this in previous blog posts. I never imagined though that I would have a biological child that was a minority and who could identify with a culture and a history completely different than my own. It's one thing to adopt a child of another ethnicity, but wouldn't it be strange if you a birthed a baby and the Doctor said "It's a boy... and he's Hungarian! Now here is a book of rules on Hungarian culture and this is how you need to raise him." That's kind of what it feels like. Different, but I don't know what else to compare it to.

Now I could write another 5 paragraphs of disclaimers because I worry that all of this could be taken the wrong way, but instead let me just end with the true nature of my heart. Community and culture are vital to our makeup, but so is individuality. God has given me the gift of motherhood, and as long as he continues to bless me with children whether they be biological, adopted, black, white, deaf, or Hungarian my husband and I will joyful take up the challenge to raise them to be men and women of honor and integrity. There are good days and bad days, but this truth is deeply rooted in my heart.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Cows Are Back

I wasn't sure if we were going to be able to participate in Chic Fil A's cow appreciation day this year because we just got back in town. For those who are not familiar with this holiday, it happens every July all over the nation. You dress like a cow, you get a free meal. No strings attached, whatever you want. For our family that's $15.00 worth of food and so worth the chance to look foolish and be silly together. So in the end I decided to go for it and found a pack of craft foam paper for $4 and I made masks out of them. Granted the masks turned out looking a little creepy, but they were unique and the kids had fun. 

Other than that we just used a conglomeration of what we had gathered over the past 3 years. Z fit into his costume for the 3rd time! Next year it will have to be passed on to SJ and my mom can make Z a new one. We accessorized with items from various CFA kids meals,  and for the record I am patting myself on the back for finding all of this stuff.
 
I hope to be able to keep this tradition going for a while. Here is a little peek at all of the cow day fun that we've had past and present. 

2010

2011 


 2012



 Z signing "cow"

SJ showing her cow appreciation with a great big hug! 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Mommy's Girl

No matter how big our family gets I know I will always have a special connection with each one of my children individually. With Z, he was my first born and he got two and a half years of undivided attention, and tons of photos to prove it. This next baby will be the third born just like me, so I already feel a camaraderie in that way, and then of course SJ is my only girl and you can't compete with that. 

SJ and I got to spend a lot of one on one time together this past week and I really enjoyed it. While at Cornerstone we worked on a handful of art projects together including this sculpture and painting. 



I tried to get a snapshot of us hanging out,  



but I think it mainly showcases how hot and scuzzy we were.


J took this picture and I didn't even know about it until yesterday. That's us snuggling up sound asleep in the tent.


J took some more pictures of us at the train station including this one of us reading magazines on a bench


and here are a few more of us playing around on the bike racks. 




The truth is we've hit a few rough patches here lately involving SJ's hearing loss. I'll leave details for later, but for now let's just say that having a special needs child takes a lot more than I ever expected. However, these challenges have done nothing but strengthen our relationship. I'm sure someday she won't want to spend all of her time with her dear old mom and that's a good thing, but for now I just want to soak it all in. Maybe someday when she's 29 she'll want to go to New York city with me. We'll see.  







Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A Brief Photo Recap

Everything has been such a whirlwind of busyness since I returned from NYC. First of all, I mentioned that my best friend M surprised me by flying in from Texas and it was a one way ticket. Not because she is moving to Kentucky, although that would be cool. It worked out that she was able to ride with us to Illinois for the Cornerstone music festival and then rode back to Texas with the church that we were camping with (our Texas church). 
Z took the top photo of us in Louisville and below is a pic of M getting chauffeured around by SJ in the golf cart at Cornerstone.

Z didn't come to Cornerstone with us because he had a fun filled week with his grandparents. It was bitter sweet not having him there, but I think SJ reveled in the opportunity to be the only child. 

 We had lots of great mommy daughter time while we were in Illinois. I will never forget this bonding experience and look forward to many more with my precious daughter.
 On the way home we spent a day in Chicago because we had never seen America's 3rd largest city. Here is a photo of J and SJ in Union Terminal.

When we did finally arrive back in Kentucky we found that our garden had taken over and we had lots of beautiful fresh veggies to harvest. Time to get cooking!