Teeth In Teeth Out

Baby Ezie got his first two teeth this month. I think it's quite a coinsidence that the boys are 5 years (and 27 days) apart and Z lost his first two teeth a month before E got his first two teeth in, and of course it's the same bottom two. So now both boys have the same two teeth growing in. I am going to go ahead and say my prediction, which is that E will loose those teeth exactly 5 years from now.

I don't have any photos of the teeth, but I did manage to do his 3 month photo shoot and even though he wasn't charming my camera to pieces I still managed to get this adorable shot of him as his usual laid back self.

His latest milestone is the whole hand fascination stage. He just loves to lock his fingers together, open and close his fists, and zero in on his hands with the intensity of a antique appraiser.

And no, the camera does not add pounds, he really is that chunky. He was 16 pounds last time he was weighed and that was a few weeks ago so who knows how much he is now. He has just about outgrown all of his 3-6 month clothes. In fact here is a picture of me on my 30th birthday with a onesie I got for him in NYC.

 I did pictures of all of the kids in their I heart NY shirts and I couldn't button Es because he was too long!

It's amazing how much changed in the 6 months between these two photos.  Just think what he'll be like in another 6 months! No actually, let's not think about that. It will be here way too soon.

The Ancient Rift

The first meme is from The Beardly,  the second one is from the Bearded Gospel Men, and that last one is Brian Haitz's groom cake.

As much as I love beard humor and Brian does have a great beard I am actually here to talk about his music. Brian's solo project, The Ancient Rift, has a new album and it's available now on iTunes. 

His Facebook describes his music as "primarily acoustic guitar driven, with deep, heartfelt lyrics that muse over life, love, tragedy, and joy. It's the kind of music that speaks deeply and heals deeply"  The tunes are soothing, honest, and uplifting. They also remind me some of one of my all time favorite artists Jon Foreman. The album was recorded at Iron Wings Studios with none other than Brandon Weaver (my brother) shown below playing the upright bass with Brian on drums.

The truth is Brian would probably still sound great with or without the beard, but I'm pretty sure that when you hear his music you will be thinking this sounds like a guy with a really fantastic beard. Go get the album and find out for yourself. 

http://www.facebook.com/theancientrift

What I learned from Preschool

I've been thrown into the world of preschool all at once this year.

In the past 6 months I have learned a lot about being a mother to preschoolers.




First of all, I have learned it is kind of a pain to have back up clothes available. Every preschool wants you to have a change of clothes for your kiddo in case they wet their pants, throw up, or spill milk all over themselves (I know about two out three of these from experience). It's not really that big of a deal, but for someone as thrifty and disinterested in laundry as I am it's a little painful knowing that a whole set of "seasonably appropriate" clothing are inaccessibly stored away in a cubby at school.

I have also learned not get too creative when it comes to bringing class goodies. Have you heard of Pinstrosity? It's a blog that features Pinterest projects gone wrong. I laugh and cry and relate to so much of the subject matter on that site and I have always wanted to submit Z's birthday cupcakes. The idea was to make cupcakes that looked like Super Mario mushrooms.



The results were... uh... less than ideal.

 

There were no cupcakes at his school that day, but I think I learned my lesson.

The biggest, most unexpected thing that I've learned from these preschool days is dealing with the impact my children's teachers (or therapists)  have had not only on Z and SJ, but on me. It's been an emotional time of goodbyes for our family. Both schools sent my kids off with special treats, gifts, and most importantly words of empowerment encouraging them as they walked out the doors of the school and onward into their bright futures.



I feel blessed beyond words to have had the opportunity to meet some of these wonderful, beautiful ladies that worked with both of my children. To steal words from the letter I wrote to SJ's therapist they have been and will always be such an important part of our lives even though our time together may have been brief. 

Moving in the middle of the school year like this has been really difficult for me, but God placed the right teachers in our path once I know he can do it again. And while I am on the subject I would like to extend this thank you to all the teachers out there that commit their time, energy, and love to our children. You probably don't even know what a difference you make in the world. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Miscellany Monday

I hope you are prepared to receive some Messy Mom randomness, because I am ready to deliver.

Speaking of being ready to deliver. I keep on getting this ad for a birth center in the corner of my Facebook and I always think that it's a picture of me and it takes me by surprise.

                                                                

 Sorry it's small. That's the size it is in my sidebar on Facebook.

                                      
                                                                         This is one of my pictures from E's birth.

It is not me and it's DEFINITELY not my husband, but aren't the similarities funny?

Moving on. I just finished a book called Love Does. It's light hearted, funny, and inspiring. Two thumbs up.

Last week was one Doctor's appointment after the other including a trip to the opthamologist. First Z hopped in the chair and leaned his head forward to look through the "binoculars" then it was SJ's turn and Z said "she can't do it because she is only two". The Doctor said "well let's just give her a shot shall we?" and Z replied very matter of fact "No. She doesn't like shots. She will cry" The doctor rephrased the statement and gave SJ a chance in the chair although in the end Z was right, she did not cooperate.

I thought I was going to have to get my eyes checked a few months ago when I was seeing all kinds of light patterns in the night. I was seriously concerned that it might be a brain tumor or something because it was like I was hallucinating. I would wake up in the night and see light coming from the bed even though there were no lights on. I asked J about it and his theory was a car driving by and its headlights shining through the window. That seemed unlikely, but then one night we were in bed and J said "man this blanket is full of electricity!" When I asked him what he meant he described the visible sparks coming from blanket. OHHH! That's what that is! I have never experience static at night I guess. Have you ever seen it? It looks CRAZY, but at least now after J's explanation and a brief google search I know that I am not!

This weekend we moved. We are now an hour closer to the Cincinnati area. Even though we still have a lot of loose ends to tie up in Louisville we brought our beds and most of our personal belongings to my brother's house.
                                           
The kids were excited to get the place set up. After each project they accomplished they would high five.

SJ starts school in a week and that means we will have to start getting up by 6:00 am. You probably won't believe this, but all of us (including the kids) are used to more of a 10:00 am start half the time. On Facebook I asked for tips on how to get up early on weekdays and I got some great responses.

What about you? How do you manage your schedule in the mornings? If you have any tricks to getting on your feet and out the door on time please let me know! 

Our Decision To Implant

 Little did I know that by having a deaf daughter I would be thrown into a controversial cultural land mine. I love watching the show Switched at Birth on ABC Family because I get my ASL fix. In the latest episode the character Bay starts going to a Deaf school. In this scene she is with her deaf friend so it looks like everything is hunky dory, but she ends up being an outcast as a hearing person in deaf school.

  

The next show focuses even more on her being bullied. The show does a great job of portraying the ongoing struggle between the deaf and hearing world. The premise of the show however is about how we can all come together and be a family embracing the differences. 

I've actually gotten emails from some people in the deaf community that told me I would be making the wrong decision to give SJ a cochlear implant. Days after she was implanted a deaf friend saw my status updates about her surgery on Facebook and said

 "I hope she will be happy with her CI... I hope that is what she wants instead of a decision you are forcing on her... I will be there for her if she needs me.." 

Yeah, my two year old daughter who cannot communicate is recovering from a serious surgery and I get this message. That was almost 3 months ago and here we are ready to give her a second one. I would like to use my blog as a platform to address the reason why. There are a lot of reasons and I have shared them on this blog before, but I'd like to share with you a letter that keeps it all in perspective for me.

In April we first found out for the first time that there was even a remote possibility that SJ might be deaf. That month we took a trip to Texas because I was photographing a wedding. It just so happens that while I was visiting my inlaw's church there was a women signing during worship. God has a way with "just so happens"  doesn't he? I spoke with this women who is fluent in ASL and teaches sign language full time. We chatted and exchanged contact info. After reading my blog and keeping up with me on Facebook she sent me this message. I asked her for permission to share her words because it has been a lifeline for me throughout the ups and downs and I think there may be other parents in my situation that would benefit from her wisdom as well. This is what she sent (emphasis added)- 

I just read the update on your blog and I want to tell you I'm so proud of how well you are adjusting to all of this. I know it's incredibly overwhelming - all the tests, information, opinions, and decisions can seem like a whirlwind when you're trying to make the best decisions and time is of the essence. 
I just want to encourage you in trusting yourself and God to know what to do. 
He is leading you to the people you need to help you through this transition. You have a perfect, beautiful, amazing little girl and God has incredible plans for her! I have been & will continue to pray for you & your family. You are doing everything right and Sedona is so blessed to have you as a mom! It sounds like she is a perfect candidate for the CI and is still so young where the success rate is amazing. 
Continue to teach her sign, help her learn to speak & read lips, teach her in whatever method is best for her and for your family, but above all celebrate her as an amazing child unique and special as I know you do everyday. Don't listen to the extremists who might try to tell you there is one right way to raise a happy & successful deaf child.
She is going to flourish and do great things. Give her every opportunity you can, in whatever way that seems right for her. Allow her to embrace her deafness as part of who she is and not see it as a defect that needs to be "cured". Even people who gain perfect speech and "hearing" with a cochlear implant are still deaf. I know you all have a big journey ahead with lots of changes and adapting to do but Sedona is going to do awesome! I know a lot of deaf people, oral, signing, intelligible speech, no speech, ASL users, and signed exact English users, young, old and inbetween and they are all happy and well adjusted people. Deafness is a part of her but it doesn't define who she is.

Thanks for posting about your personal experiences. You have a great support system and a lot of prayer on your side.
As the big steps and challenges come, don't let them weigh you down. Celebrate the simple things and trust God to get you through the hurdles.
Lots of prayers! Keep us posted!

Our Elephant

It's been a while since I have updated what is happening with SJ and A LOT is happening, so I will do my best to get everyone caught up.

First off we are moving. In October we toured a deaf school in Ohio and felt like it was a great place for SJ to learn and develop with her new cochlear implant. I know I have mentioned it before, but getting the device is only half the battle. It takes years of therapy and training to make the whole operation worth while and give a child the opportunity to hear and speak. This facility seems like a wonderful resource for her, but it is an hour and a half away so we are going to move in with my brother and his wife. We will still be about 40 minutes from the school, but this will get us one step closer so that SJ can begin classes and J can find a job in the area. We are nervous, but excited about this next endeavor.

SJ starts at her new school in a couple weeks. It really is a dream school. She will have students just like her to learn beside. She will get private time with a speech therapist. There are two activity centers. One mimics a house where everything is toddler sized. This is a way for SJ to learn about all of her environment like dishes, dress up, laundry, bedtime. They even hang photos up of the student's families. The other activity center focuses on a different theme each month.  When we were there it was farm. They had a little barn and  real hay bails. The children play games learning about animals and farm related vocabulary. Last month the theme was restaurant where they learned about food and mealtime.

I was hesitant about putting SJ in preschool, because I really cherish the toddler age as a time that I have to teach my kids and have them at home with me, but she has special needs and needs special support. I was really pleased with the environment at the school. I don't have to worry about her childhood being consumed with therapy because they have an extremely fun, loving, playful approach to it. They keep the parents involved on so many levels and I like that too. I know she's going to love it. I've compared it to going to Sesame street!

The other BIG BIG news is that a month from now SJ will have bilateral hearing. This means that she is having her second cochlear implant (the left side) put in on February 14th. We wanted this from the beginning. In fact we wanted her to have a simultaneous bilateral implantation, which surgeons are doing more and more of these days, but our ENT does not. While I do not look forward to having to go through the surgery itself, I feel extremely blessed that SJ will be able to have "two ears".

It's all good news and yet a slightly terrifying. I feel like I am preparing my self for the trenches and asking God for a lot of endurance. The quote that comes to mind is "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". It's a weird saying.

I don't want to eat an elephant, but the point is we are going to tackle these transitions as they come, one step and one day at a time.



Do you have a favorite verse that encourages you in stressful times? I would love for you to share it. 

3 1/2

What I have found about the third child is that while I still work really hard at keeping things even when it comes documenting memories, it's definitely a challenge. I have managed to do newborn portraits, video collages, baby book entries, and birth announcements for all of them, but E's tends to get done a little later and perhaps less detailed.

E is now 3 months 3 1/2 months old. He had his first Christmas.


He is obviously really excited about it.

 We didn't do any pictures with Santa this year, but I was able to get some of the kids all dressed up in their Christmas clothes.

E played the role of baby Jesus a total of 4 times this year, including once at the mall for a flash mob. 
People that we didn't even know where stopping us to take pictures and tell us how much they enjoyed the surprise program. If babies could get academy awards I think E would be some serious competition for best performance as a tranquil newborn. Even when laid in a manager under a spotlight he was always so serene. I knew he would do well considering he isn't typically a fussy baby, I was more concerned about him being gassy. Thankfully there was no flatulation going on during the angelic nativity scene.

As far as the rest of the month goes, he started cooing which is the most precious thing in the world.
He had his first plane ride.  He was on a plane for the first time.
He got sick for the first time, but I took him to the Doctor and it turns out he just has a cold and I am glad about that.

That's about it for the 3 month milestones. He mostly just lays around 24/7 melting our hearts with his snuggly, adorable, squishiness. It's a tough job, but somebodies gotta do it.

Fighting for Life

This past weekend we stopped at Barnes & Noble so that I could get my own personal copy of the latest issue of Time magazine, but I guess I was confused about the release date. I checked the newsstands everyday until at last on Tuesday I found it. I enthusiastically grabbed the thin 5 dollar magazine and slapped it down on the counter to check out. Normally I am so cheap that I would rather read an article than make a purchase, but I wanted to own this magazine. I wanted to own this magazine because I feel like it represents a historic shift in our society. You see I believe that this is the generation that will witness the end of legalized abortion. 

I posted this on my Facebook over two years ago 

"Like Oskar Shindler during the holocaust, or William Wilberforce during the slave trade, and Martin Luther King Jr. during the Civil Rights movements, 

THE TIME IS NOW TO TAKE A STAND AGAINST THE DEHUMANIZING OF LIFE! 

Let's overturn Roe vs Wade!"

You can imagine with my passionate stance on life that I was a little excited to see this cover story 

It says: "40 Years ago, abortion-rights activists won an epic victory with Roe V. Wade. They've Been Losing Ever Since."- By Kate pickert

The article is completely unbiased. It could just as easily appeal to the pro-choice side as it could pro-life, but I am exceedingly optimistic that justice will be served in defending the unborn. Check the story out for yourself because my rendition of it will undoubtedly be prejudice toward life. 

The problem (for them) is that abortion is not on the rise and the number of people that believe in the sanctity of life is. There are several reason that the article states may contibute to that. 

1. The smaller number of doctors willing to perform abortions.
2. Widespread access to birth control.
3.  Changing attitudes about family. For example being pregnant out of wedlock isn't as taboo as it used to be.
4. State Regulations becoming more restrictive. There were 92 restricting provisions passed in 2011.
5. New discoveries about fetuses. Scientific progress has played a major roll in the shifting of public opinion. A mother can now see and hear a heartbeat before she were to have an abortion. Mothers can see the tiny human on ultrasound. Some babies born prematurely can live as young as 24 weeks! None of this information or opportunities were available 40 years ago when abortion was legalized.

In the article "What Choice" Kissling, formerly of Catholics for choice, describes one of the obstacles that they face in defending their views.

“The pro choice movement's effort to 'normalize abortion' is counterproductive. When people hear us say abortion is just another medical procedure they react with shock” she says "abortion is not like having your tooth pulled or having your appendix out. It involves the termination of an early form of human life.” 

Terminating a human's life certainly is a difficult thing to justify. Yet somehow it is. The article quotes a 24 year old patient of an abortion clinic that says of her and her boyfriend "neither of us is anywhere near baby time right now. We argue over who will take the dog out some days, so I don't think the diaper changing would go much better". 

And that's it. That is enough reason to take a babies life. I wept as I read this part of the article. This is a very complicated issue. We are making some strides, but there is so much further to go in the fight to end this injustice. 

One final quote from Time magazine about the sinking ship that is legalized abortion: 

"In many ways, the fight to preserve access to abortion is even more daunting than the fight to legalize it 40 years ago. In a dynamic democracy like America defending the status quo is always harder than fighting to change it." 

I believe we will see justice. I believe my grandchildren will read in history books about the day America ended slavery, allowed women to vote, and stopped the legal termination of unborn babies! 

I still believe in one nation 

under God, 

indivisible,

 with liberty and justice for

 ALL. 

2013 Here We Come

As I look back at old resolutions some of them are painful to read because I remember trying them and then slowly loosing focus and in the end being not so successful. 

Disclaimer: I don't drink, I just thought this was funny.

I don't know how many years I have intended to sell things on ebay. In fact I have this list on my Cozi called "left overs". I am on a tangent here, but bear with me. I make a to do list everyday of 10 things I want to accomplish that day. I don't do it on weekends, but almost every day I make a list because I am a list addict. When something is left on the list it goes to another list called "left overs".



Most of the time it either gets done or becomes obsolete, but as you can see I have this dang "Take pics for ebay" and it just sits there taunting me! It's probably never going to happen. Still, I love my lists and goals. I have even had some of them become permanent life habits like when I quit drinking soda back in 2000 or when I decided to start using reusable shopping bags in 2009. All that to say I do in fact have a list  of new years goals and since it's 2013 you can bet I have 13 of them.

1. Get the kids on a schedule Z and SJ will be in school full time this year so that means early to bed early to rise. For our group of night owls  I think we'd be better off trying to memorize the Bible, but here goes nothing.

2. Learn more signs Now that SJ has a Cochlear Implant she is learning to talk orally, but I still want us to continue to expand our ASL vocabulary.

3. Be active with the kids Some of our favorite family activities are riding bikes, flying kites, and catching fire flies at night. Excuse the rhyme, I can't help myself.

4. Vitamins and veggies everyday for me and the fam I'll confess it just doesn't happen consistently, but it needs to.

5. Donate my hair I have had long hair most of my life. I love my long hair, but I have had it short some too.

 

 I also loose A TON of hair after pregnancy and it drives me crazy. I swore I would chop it off and give it to locks of love after I had a baby so it is happening. I just have to make the appointment.

6. Move to Ohio More details on this later.

7.  Be alone once a month Not as easy as it sounds.

8. Visit Texas and Michigan We weren't able to travel back home for the holidays this year and many of J's family have yet to meet E.

9. Make a movie Not like a major motion picture, but I have a little project in mind that my brother and I are hopefully going to work on.

10. Learn more about the world and teach my kids I am bad at Geography and I want to change that.

11. 12 date nights Once again, not nearly as easy as it sounds. Believe me, this isn't the first time I have had this as a resolution.

12. Update our family portrait This is the most current one we have.

13. 4 big birthday celebrations. Z (Super hero party), SJ (small, but special), E (first birthday, I don't have a theme yet) and SJ's hearing (video montage of her journey).

Alrighty, that's it. Wish me luck! 

Instagram 2012

I randomly decided to look back at the past year of instagrams the other day and I thought it would be fun to share my favorites. Here are the top 12 from 2012

 January 3- still living in Texas

 March 17- SJ shaking her finger at a stranger wearing a matching dress

May 15- My best friend and I were hooked on The Hunger Games 

June 16- Lots of gardening and a little romance

June 23- Getting ready for New York City and my 30's 

July 21- J turns 36

August 28- SJ at her new deaf oral school 

 September 26- Little did I know I was 4 days away from meeting my baby.

 October 1- Thrift store shopping hours before delivery! 

October 21- Z!!!

 November 22- Thanksgiving morning

 December 30- My final instagram of the year (see my last post)

This is the small stuff. There are so many milestones that happened this year that overshadowed all the little snippets. These are just pieces of my life that could just as easily be disregarded, but how cool is it that I can look back and cherish all of those little moments as well? Here is to another year of phone photos! 

I Was On a Plane to Michigan When...

I shot up out of my seat before take off and ran to the closest flight attendant. In a panic I asked

  "Is it too late to get off the plane? I can't go. I need to get off the plane!"

Let's hold it right there and back up two days before. It was December 28th I was working on a puzzle and I get this text from my best friend.



It did sounds a little crazy after all to travel from Kentucky to Michigan at the last minute like this, but with my mom working for the airlines the standby flight was only $50, E could ride along for free. We decided to go for it. I could leave on Sunday and come back New Years day. As I waited at the Cincinnati airport I knew our schedule didn't have too much wiggle room, so when the flight was delayed I started to get a little nervous. The problem was I could make it to Detroit, but I would probably miss my connecting flight to my final destinations. This would also mean missing the party. Long story short we decided that someone would drive three hours to Detroit to pick me up and with that plan in mind I boarded the plane.

 It was really crowded and I was holding a baby so the people around me finally offered to help me out and I shoved my boarding pass in the seat pocket, they put the diaper bag on the floor, and my laptop in the overhead compartment. Then I plopped my exhausted self down while the announcements started up over the intercom. My mom called before they made us turn off our cell phones and when I told her the latest itinerary she reminded me that the car seat and my suitcase were headed to my final destination NOT Detroit. This meant I would arrive and have no carseat, clothing, or toiletries. That's when I pleaded to be let off the plane. They brought me my bag and I headed back up the jet bridge feeling like a total psychopath for the way things just went down.

Back at the gate I began to regroup and make a few phone calls. People that were picking me up in Michigan needed to know not to, and someone needed to come and pick us up from Cincinnati. Finally, everything was settled and I was just about to let out my breath and head to baggage service where they said that my stuff would be. Just before that happened I remembered one last thing. With what little bit of strength I had left I headed over to the gate agent and said "this just isn't my day...". It turns out I had left my laptop in the overhead bin on a plane that was now on it's way to Detroit.

I won't make you suffer through a story that would include every detail about how many people I talked to online, on the phone, and in person over the next two days. Instead let me just skip to the end which is that my laptop was eventually located at the Detroit airport and my mom flew to Detroit yesterday (she flies for free) and brought it back to me so that I could  type all of this drama out for you. The ironic thing about it is my macbook came back the same time I should have. I left my computer on the plane, but since it made it to Michigan on Sunday and came back New Year's day I am  beginning to feel like it left me!

As far as Michigan is concerned it was quite a debacle. I am determined to make up for it one of these days, but next time I'm leaving the laptop at home!