Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Keep it Short and Simple

This week I have shared some practical tips for Teachable Parenting including; Logical Consequences, How to Respond to Whining, and Giving Choices. Today's tip is to avoid lectures and keep things short and simple. All of the three books I have previously sited will give this same advice, especially with very young children, LESS IS MORE! Sometimes it’s a loving motives that make you want to explain every detail of why the child is in trouble or can’t do something, but just remember the Charlie Brown teacher “waaah, waaaah, waaaah, waaah wah” and try to keep your child from tuning you out. Love and Logic has tons of one liner phrases to help keep things simple. A simple phrase used both repeatedly and consistently along with actions is more meaningful. It becomes a conditioned response. A couple examples from Love and Logic are "Uh-Oh" and "Bummer".

So you would say “uh oh, we don’t throw our food, looks like your done eating.” And take the plate away.

Or “ I said not to hit your sister. Bummer. I guess that means you need to leave the living room area since you aren’t playing nice”

Honestly, I am not very good at this method, but it’s something to consider. It also gives you a chance to take a breath and think before you react. Danny silk describes it as “One liner phrases that are there for your sanity. They are a way for you to kick your brain into neutral while the other person is trying to drive you into the Crazy Ditch”.

One final tip from Wild Things. "Be concise. The more words a teacher or parent uses, the greater the odds that a boy will tune you out. Try to keep your verbal instructions to no more than a minute. And be sure not to layer instructions one after another."

 As a girl, I can attest to this being true for both genders in some cases, especially depending on the age.


Those are just some ideas. It doesn’t come naturally, at least not for me. But sometimes I have to save my vent sessions for my mom, husband, or Jesus and spare my child so that they can process rather than tune me out.

This is day 15 of a 31 Day Series. For more Teachable Parenting click HERE.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I like this. We are working on the parenting challenges of a 2 and 3 year old, and I TOTALLY get this. I'm also trying to shift from "punishments" to "consequences" - same end results, but different wording. The consequence of breaking the rules is: a time out, leaving the table, whatever. The consequence for obeying the rules is: praise, the opportunity to do something special, dessert, whatever.

Syncopated Mama said...

Oh, yes, I agree with the "keep it short & simple!" I struggle with being concise anyway, but definitely find I tend to ramble on when parenting my daughter. I liked your Peanuts comparison!

Unknown said...

These are great tips. Even though I'm not a parent, I'll think back to these, and use them when babysitting my nieces and nephews.

Jennifer Frisbie said...

Great advice! I had two girls before I had a son and it feels like I'm relearning. No wonder he often looks at me funny if I ask him to do multiple things at once. (that and the fact that he's not yet 5) ;)

Bethany Boring said...

I LOVE this!! I have three boys and I catch myself going into "lecture mode" ALL THE TIME!!! I really should practice this!!!

Jennifer Pepito said...

Great tips! Have you seen the @wildandfree IG community? They are talking about the Wild Things book as well.

Zion said...

No I haven't, but thank you Jennifer, I will check that out!