What a Girl Wants

The book I bought on Monday teaches about communication between men and women. It is described as the language of blue and pink and how so many marriages get lost in translation. I am not surprised by this at all. I don't know how I expect J to know what I want when a lot of times I don't even know myself.

For example, the first thing J told me when he woke up on mother's day was that he didn't get a card. I said "It's okay. I don't care about cards. Mother's day really isn't a big deal for me." By the end of the day I was exhausted from playing outside with the kids who had gone inside and tracked mud all through the house and this was after a long list of other things that were a far cry from Kodak moments. J was playing guitar for a Sunday night worship service and I was at home on my hands and knees scrubbing mud off the floor realizing that I DO care about mother's day!

I wanted to avoid a repeat of this for my birthday so SEVERAL weeks before the date I sent him an email titled "Birthday Wishes" and it stated exactly what I wanted including that I don't want to go shopping for my birthday, and an amazon wish list for gift ideas. The reason I was so specific was because in years past when he says "how about we go shopping and you can pick out something for your birthday" I hear "I forgot about your birthday and don't feel like doing anything for you, but here is some money."

He ignored my wish list and got me a purse because he knew I needed a new one and he knew I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for. Ironically, I did find what I was looking for at a thrift store (on the right of the photo below) the same day he found this Fossil bag for me (shown on left)!

I told him he obviously did a great job because we both bought almost identical bags and his bag was actually a lot nicer.

I suggested that since I couldn't take my purse back I would return his and then go shopping with the money. He was shocked since that is the exact opposite of what I said I had wanted. This is true, but really what I wanted was to know that he put forth some effort in finding something special for me, which he did. So now I have a new purse and a bunch of other stuff. Happy birthday to me.

Birthday Songs

Yesterday I posted that I would try and get a video of my birthday serenade up in "10 minutes" and it never happened. I don't understand why I had such difficulty. I uploaded it to facebook without any problems but, since I know several of you are not connected with me through facebook here is the video as promised.

The first part is of my little Z monster who voluntarily began the day with this song. The part after that was the tale end of the birthday serenade I got from the guy that did my pedicure (I really wish I would have gotten my phone out to record sooner), and lastly is a friend of mine who surprised me with an Italian opera song. The three spontaneous songs were about as diverse as they come, but all three certainly brightened my day.

Birthday Bounty

Yesterday was my day to be spoiled, to feel pampered, to indulge in the simple little things I never have time for. Yesterday was my birthday. Along with a few birthday gifts from friends I went on a little shopping spree all by myself. If you have ever been a mother of preschoolers you know that the gift of solitude is priceless. And because you know I love participating in Oh Amanda's top 10, here are the 10 things I got for my b-day.

1. Car Wash- I'm not even talking about a nice professional detail, I just mean driving through the thing at Exxon. I never get my car washed and it was something I wanted to do since rain certainly isn't holding me back!

2. A new dress- This entire outfit head to toe was purchased on my birthday and I wore it out last night.

3. Accessories- I finally got some new jewelry. As I mentioned before, I am in desperate need of accessories so this was probably the coolest gift of all.

4. Nice tweezers- Sounds so simple, but I have only ever purchased cheap tweezers and when I used my moms which are nicer it made a huge difference. I finally upgraded and I am glad I did!

5. Love & Respect- Who doesn't want love & Respect for their birthday? Just kidding, I have wanted this book about Christian marriage for a long time and I found a brand new copy at half price books. Score.

6. Eisley CD- I have wanted They Valley ever since going to the Eisley concert a few weeks ago. I am taking in the ear candy even as I write this.

7. A pedicure- I haven't had one of these since I was pregnant with SJ (a year and a half ago). This gift was from the same friend that treated me the last time. What a friend!

8. Birthday songs- My little monster sang happy birthday to me which is the best gift of all, then MP, who was the best man in our wedding and just so happens to be an Opera singer, gave me a birthday card that came with a singing telegram. Lastly, my male nail technician insisted on singing to me at the salon. I've never had such a serenade.*

Hopefully I will have a video of this when it's done uploading in about 10 minutes*

9. Cake pops- I am in love with the Tiramisu cake pops from Starbucks. They also have a birthday cake flavor which I had never tried so I thought yesterday was the perfect opportunity. In lieu of a birthday cake I had a tasty cake pop out on a patio in Deep Ellum listening to live Jazz music. What a way to end the day.

10. Number 10 is a work in progress. I looked everywhere for some Keen socks. I know where to get them, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to drive that far. If I get these socks then that completes the entire Amazon wish list I had concocted a month ago.

This very happy birthday makes for one happy refreshed mama (a 29 year old one).

Movies and 3D

I have heard so much hype about watching movies in 3-D, but I didn't want to pay extra because I am cheap and I was worried that Z wouldn't be able to wear the glasses over his glasses which could be frustrating for everybody. Then there were a couple occasions where we had some opportunity to watch 3-D stuff at home with some of the little reb/blue glasses and I was never impressed, but I blamed it on the cheap glasses. Then come to find out the cheapy glasses were working for everyone except me! I don't have any vision problems so I thought maybe my eyes were too sharp to fooled by this three dimensional illusion, but then I googled it and it turns out there are a lot of people that can't see 3-D (Johnny Depp is one) and it's because of visual impairments. I'll admit this diagnosis caught me off guard, but contrary to the online recommendation I don't plan on going to an eye doctor. I can read, I can see near and far, I can take pictures, and play sports (well, maybe not the sports, but I don't blame my eyes). I guess not being able to watch 3-D movies is something I can live without. I rarely go to the movies anyway. It averages about once or twice a year lately, but this week went to the theater twice!

The first one was the Kung Fu Panda sequel. Both of the kids wore panda shirts. We all laughed and I even cried at the end a little.

Then next day a friend of ours offered us 4 tickets to see Cars 2 at 9:00 am on opening day! Well, we couldn't pass that up, so yesterday we got up early and went to the theater at 8:00.

Z had all his Lightning McQueen fan gear from his sippy cup down to his underwear.

They played a game of tossing around the beach balls while we sat and waited for the movie to start and State Farm insurance who sponsored the whole thing gave away lots of prizes. I left with a balloon, Lighting McQueen tattoo and a teddy bear. It really was a blast.

I think that's enough movies for me for a while. Although, I admit I am curious whether or not I would be able to watch 3D with polarized glasses. Supposedly there is a good percentage of people that get sick, tired, or just can't see 3D images at all. So I have to ask does anyone else have any issues seeing 3D or know someone who does?

Summer List

On Tuesday I got a comment that said "you are so great with your list". I haven't always had lists or goals and the ones that I've had haven't always been successful. A year ago I participated in Oh Amanda's Top Ten Tuesday for the first time and my list was 10 Things I am looking forward to this summer. Then 3 months later I was able to review the list and find that I had accomplished all of it! It was so encouraging and motivating that I have done it for fall and spring too. It doesn't always mean that I will do all 10 things, like the time I said we would go to Scarborough fair, but it does help. I know I would have never had that yard sale if it wasn't on my list. So even though it's a little late here is the 10 things I am looking forward to Summer 2011.

1. Dress Like a Cow day at Chic Fil A

Our second year to participate.

2. My birthday

I know I shouldn't care about birthdays, but mother's day was such a dud this year, and I figure I am allowed one day a year to be about me so we'll see how my birthday turns out on Monday.

3. Watermelons from the garden

We already have some, but they aren't that big yet. I can't wait to eat the first one.

4. Reconnecting with old friends all over the country

The biggest thing going on this summer or year for that matter, is our crazy cross country road trip extravaganza. It all goes down in 3 weeks and you'll hear all about it I'm sure.

5. Camping in Canada

Part of that trip consist of going over the border for a great white north adventure.

6. J's Birthday in Michigan

Another part of this trip will be visiting our friend's in Michigan and J will be turning a big number I won't disclose.

7. Z's Awesome Veggie Tales Birthday Party

Yeah, we have a lot of summer birthdays in this family.

8. Going to see some summer blockbusters

I was going to put my first 3D movie on this list, but turns out I can't see 3D. More on that later.

9. Taking a picture each day for my 365 project

It's a flickr thing that I am thinking about doing for my final year in my twenties.

10. Getting our first egg.

It should happen by the end of the summer. We'll see.

The People of Yard Sales

I had a yard sale last weekend and spent several days deciding whether or not it was worth it. In the end I think it was. I made over $100 after expenses, which included a babysitter and an ad in the paper. Next time I don't think I will do either of those things.

You see the tricky thing is, you take a bunch of your old stuff, which may have sentimental value and meaning to you and you price it for next to nothing, then a bunch of people you don't know come by and want to take it for even less. I was okay with that, for the most part, but it wasn't always easy. I had two women show up in a nice car. They had just gotten back from a cruise. One took me from $1 to 50 cents for a full bottle of Bath and Body works lotion. Then she came across the braball which retails for $20, but I was selling it for a buck. When I explained how it worked she said "I'm a double D, do you think my bras will fit in there?" and lifted up her shirt to show me. Slightly stunned I told her I wasn't sure and silently thought it was doubtful. She asked me if I'd take 50 cents which I did. Then I had a Hispanic women with a truck full of watermelons trying to barter for some of SJ's dresses which I had to turn down, because I don't need any watermelons I need to make at least enough money to pay for the stupid yard sale ad. I had another woman who bought two items, one was fifty cents, the other was a quarter, and she gave me two quarters. It doesn't really matter, but before she walked off I said "Ma'am I'm sorry, but you actually owe me 75 cents." I'm not asking for much people, just please give me the dignity of 75 cents! That's not two but three stinkin' quarters!

On top of some of the hagglers, I met some really nice people too. Like one women that worked for the cities women's resource center, which Z is helping raise money for by collecting coins in a bottle. And I met some of my neighbors for the first time. That was cool. I also had a girl get really excited about this Express skirt I was selling.

Then the next day when I went to the video store with kids I saw her working there and she was wearing my skirt the skirt she bought from me. I wanted to say something about it, but I didn't want to embarrass her. I love wearing used clothes and don't care who knows it, but not everyone feels that way. In fact, when I started this blog nearly 3 years ago I did a series called Thrift Store Fashion show where I did side by side comparisons of new clothes vs used clothes and that skirt was one of the items featured.

I will never know who owned the skirt before me, but I know I had fun wearing it, and I was happy to see it found a nice new home. The girl at the video store looked really cute in it. That's what I love about yard sales. Buy something at the mall and you may have a story about the great deal you scored, buy something at a yard sale you still get a great deal and the item comes with a story of it's own.

Top Ten Spring Accomplishments

At the end of March I did a little list called "Top 10 Things I will hopefully accomplish this Spring." I have procrastinated reporting my success because there were something that I really just could not get motivated to do (like #5). So I googled when the summer solstice actually begins in 2011 and it is today, so I found a loophole to accomplish everything within the spring season, technically. Now for updated list

1. Fly a Kite

Check. My brother gave Z what is called a power kite for Christmas a few years back. It's big enough to carry him away, but between that kite and a few cheap ones from the store we had a blast this spring. Really I can not stress enough how much fun we had. I hadn't even flown a kite in like 20 years and just didn't realize how freeing it would be. We are totally hooked on kites now.

2. Change Out Closet Clothes

Clothes are swapped and summer wardrobes are in place!

3. Go Camping

We went camping twice this spring and had a blast both times.

4. Walk to the Store

I love living within walking distance of some stores. I am so glad I put this on my list because walking to various stores means I get fresh air, exercise, and run some errands all at the same time. Our favorite thing to do lately is walk to the local Family Video. Sometimes the kids and I will walk there and pick out one of their free kids rentals which makes for super frugal fun.

5. Sell Stuff

I finally had a garage sale last weekend. More details on that tomorrow.

6. Get an iphone

Check. I not only got an iphone (the 3GS), but I finally was able to replace my old macbook pro with a new refurbished one. Thank you tax return.

7. Get a Tan

I do have a bit of color right now. Thank you yard sale.

8. Spring Cleaning

Of all the things on my list this is the biggest flop, go figure, but the yard sale really did help me declutter so we made some headway.

9. Poetry Reading

I did do my first poetry reading and I think it was a success. I would love to do it again sometime.

10. Blue Bonnet Photos

Forget what I said about #8. #10 may rightfully be the flop of the season. I actually got the kids all dressed up, put them in the field of flowers and gave up after 10 seconds of excessively strong winds that made the whole shoot pretty much impossible. I did get this spontaneous shot of some calves in a field though.

It's not exactly the traditional Texas family portrait I had in mind, but there's always next year.

So that's my top ten list check out Oh Amanda for more.

Father's Day 2011

I have a friend who has a photography business and we have traded services for years. It works out great. She also did the photos at SJ's birth and our anniversary. Her pictures are amazing, so we sneakily met up a couple weeks ago to do a photo shoot so that I could surprise J with a framed pic of me and the kids. I thought a lot about what to wear and decided I couldn't go wrong with this Banana Republic dress that J picked out and bought for me before we even had kids. The kids had Old Navy outfits that were given to them and it all just came together.

This was the one we framed.

This one was in his "card".

And these are just some other random shots.

Sorry I couldn't help but show these off. I hope everyone else had a great father's day.

A Few Good Reads

In closing out this week I would like to recommend some resources dealing with the topic of death.

The first one is a book called Heaven Is For Real. It is an amazing TRUE story about a 3 year old boy on his death bed that had a heavenly encounter. He actually went to heaven for 3 minutes and had a full books worth of information to tell about it. I know it sounds hokey, but you'd have to read it for yourself to know that it is the real deal. The family has gotten national recognition included appearances on the Today show, Fox news, and many others. Check out the link to hear his story, and more importantly check out the book! On a side note my mom got to meet the author and the boy that went to heaven and the rest of the family when she checked them in at the airport.

Everybody Wants To Go To Heaven, but Nobody Wants Die is another book on the same heavy topic, but more of a lighthearted approach than some. Christian artist "David Crowder explores the complex relationship between life, death, grief, and community." I haven't read the book personally, but I know some who have and they recommend. Another little fun fact, my sister in law has an autographed copy that she got from Crowder himself when my brother was on tour with the band. Talk about six degrees of separation, I guess it should be my turn to meet an author.

I also wanted to post a few blog links because I have some friends who have written about their personally experiences recently and each one shows how you unique the experience of loss is for every individual and yet we can still all relate to that same core feeling of sorrow.

First Amy who kind of inspired me to write about my brother to begin with. When she wrote about the sudden death of one her best friends in High School and how it was the 20th anniversary of this small town tragedy is when I realized that it has been 20 years that my brother has been gone.

Another one of my friends recently went through the 1 year anniversary of loosing her mom to cancer. This story has touched my life personally, since I know her whole family. Her life blog is just something she writes for friends and family, but for anyone that has lost a parent or someone to cancer you may be able to relate to her feelings.

Lastly, the same time I was writing about Zeb my friend Katy was documenting her feelings about growing up without her dad who passed away when she was almost five. I've known Katy for a long time and we knew each other's stories already, but not to the degree that we had written about on our blogs.

I am glad to see that people are talking and being real about their emotions. I have seen the harm that can come from denial or trying to bottle things. I know this little series has been helpful to me and I can only hope that maybe it will encourage others.

On a Lighter Note

I took a few snapshots of some of the photos from my Zeb scrapbook., and even with as embarrassing as many of them are I am going to give you a peek into my life in the EIGHTIES! For those of you from that generation I am sure you have similar photos, for everyone else just know that these styles were normal at one time.

Anyway,

Here we are in '87. I love this photo. I have always said that we were the originally Little Miss Sunshine, although far less dysfunctional. How about that retro "Jesus Is Coming" license plate? I have written a whole post about the old VW, it was the best.

And here I am sporting the stirrup pants. Tell me you had some.

These frilly dresses were so popular at our church, I think you had to order them from a special catalogue or something. Mine was probably a hand-me-down (my mom can probably clarify this).

This was that trip to Indianapolis that I talked about. On the left we have big bro with the tight rolled jeans, followed by several pairs of flourecent shoe laces, and who knows what I am wearing.

I showed one of these dandelion pictures earlier this week. I just love these photos.

I still love dandelions despite their reputation and here I am holding them again in another photo with Zeb and my older brother.

What was your craziest outfit/accessory from the 80's?

The Process of Grief

Yesterday I mentioned that there were different stages to grieving and processing, and I can really only share what that has looked like for me and my specific situation. Of course it was difficult for a time. I missed my brother and I cried plenty which was always welcomed with love and compassion in our family. I remember coming unglued when I had a pet cat pass away not long after my little brother died. I had much stronger outward emotions about the cat, which looking back I think was more like the straw that broke the camels back. I had had enough and that was a way for me to vent all of the grief, anger, and questioning that I had been dealing with that year.

My adolescent, teenage, and early adult years were very typical. I will say though that becoming a mom has brought a whole new light to this story and I have had to process it all over again from the perspective of a mother. My little brother was 3 when he was diagnosed and now that I have a 3 year old boy (whose name also happens to begin with Z) I just can’t even imagine what it would be like to go through what my parents did. I have also been able to talk with my mom as a friend and hear the story in more detail, including some of the medical aspects that I would have never been able to comprehend as a young girl. I can see how God’s hand was on my parents in that season and how he is the strength that has carried them through and allowed their story to be a testimony. It is nothing short of a miracle really.

Then there are the what if’s. I believe that God has a purpose for everything and you can’t live in the past, but I would be lying if I said I never ever wondered what it would be like if things turned out differently. J and I have a friend who is like a brother to us and he is the same age that Zeb would be.

They are not always this affectionate ha ha. This was during a very special time of prayer.

I have mentioned him on this blog 1, 2, 3, at least 4 times. It blesses my heart to see the relationship between him and his older sister.

I am guessing Zeb would probably be artistic and musical like the rest of my family and I am sure he would jamming with the guys if he were here, but let’s be honest whatever he is rocking out to in heaven is way better than what we’ve got going on.

As far as what the future holds, I look forward to sharing Zeb's legacy with my children someday when they are older. I have a memorial scrapbook with photos of my brother. There are also some little wooden trucks Zeb had painted that are displayed in Z's room.

Lastly, the kids have a copy of The Runaway Bunny, which is so special because not only did I read it to Zeb in his last days with us, but it was written in 1942 which was right around when our house was built, and when I bought this book at Kohl’s the net sales went to benefit the Children’s Miracle Network which is a foundation that had a part in Zeb’s life.

I bought this book before the kids were born and I don’t think I have even read it to them yet. Maybe tonight that will change.

Zeb's Story Continued

Click here for part one.

When we returned it was time to get back to business in fighting this cancer thing head on. We eventually were spending so much time at the hospital someone set us up in an apartment close to the hospital as Zeb received round the clock treatment. Once again us three older kids stayed with family friends in order to keep up at school. Holidays, birthdays, and family time were all spent at the hospital.

It was on Easter of 1991 that Zeb was admitted to the ICU. I remember being in the car with my dad and two older brothers who were 13 and 11 years old at the time and I was almost 9. My dad turned around and asked us if we understood what was happening to Zeb and in gentle fatherly words made sure that we knew the severity of the situation and that we may have to say our goodbyes. We knew.

This was the hardest part for me. Zeb was the most fun loving energetic boy you would ever meet and it pained me to see my brother, my best bud, laying lifeless on his back in that cold sterile room. The Zeb I remember was often in overalls, he had a broad smile with big dimples, and was barefooted any chance he got.

But in the ICU he became swollen and they had to lay extra large tshirts over his body instead of dress him because of all the tubes that he was hooked up to. We still stuck together through it all. I remember reading to him The Runaway Bunny and stroking his forehead, because even though he couldn’t respond much, he seemed to appreciate the tender touch.

In April of 1991 I was called out of my second grade class to the school office. When I arrived and saw my parents and brothers with red eyes full of tears I pretty much knew what was going on. My dad told us that Zeb had passed away the night before. I remember him telling us that our ultimate goal was to get to heaven to see Jesus, but that now we have even more to look forward to. Shortly after that we moved onto a large auditorium where they made the announcement to the entire student body of our tight knit private school. Of course people pulled together to support our family, and we felt love coming from every direction. Some ladies bought me a beautiful new dress to wear to the funeral. It’s hard to believe that was 20 years ago. There has been a lot of grieving and different stages of processing, but I feel like as a family we’ve grown closer to each other and closer to God. I will never know why my little brother had to leave us at such a young age, what I do know is that we will not take for granted having such a sweet loving boy as a part of our family. We will never forget the seven precious years that we had with him here on this earth and lastly we rejoice in knowing we will see him again.

Zeb's Story

I didn’t want to go to kindergarten, but that is what five year olds do, so I was forced into the brightly colored, welcoming room of the small private Christian school. I knew most of my classmates because this school was also where I went to church. My older brothers went there too, but not my little brother because he was only three. I never went to preschool so that first week of kindergarten was definitely the biggest thing going on in my little world. That was until the next week.

My little brother Zeb had bug bites, which is no big deal for an active toddler living out in the country. The problem was that they didn’t go away, so my mom decided it wouldn’t hurt to have it checked by a doctor. They did some blood work and on September 9, 1987 Zeb was diagnosed with Leukemia. I didn’t move onto first grade the next year and now I can understand why, but being held back was something that I would feel ashamed of throughout a good part of my childhood.

The next 2 ½ years of my life were spent staying with friends, family, and various church members off and on because my parents were at the hospital so often throughout Zeb’s chemotherapy. I hated staying with other people, and I hated having blood drawn. The nurses at the hospital tried holding me, but I distinctly remember kicking screaming and eventually protesting to the point that they had to strap me down. But despite how I make it sound things weren't so bad. I liked the hospital. We had lots of friends there. The Doctors and nurses were so nice and one of them loved to challenge me at Tetris on the rec room computer. To this day I can still take anyone at Tetris, it’s the only video game I am good at. We would also have therapy with a counselor at the hospital, but I didn’t know that’s what it was until later. I called her Linda the play lady and I just had a great time coloring and writing and spending time with my brothers.

Things were progressing decently until Zeb relapsed in October of 1990. We took one last vacation as a family to Indianapolis. We knew with Zeb preparing to have a bone marrow transplant we wouldn’t be able to do any traveling anytime soon. He also wouldn’t be able swim once he had a central line put in again. We absorbed every second of every moment together as a family and just enjoyed life, because we knew and still realize that life is precious.

To be continued...

Talking About Death

If you know me you may know that I have my own opinions about birth. I get frustrated when our culture views it as some freaky, horrible, disgusting thing when it is actually very beautiful. I attribute my openness in part to be raised by a mother that has always had a very open and optimistic dialogue about childbirth. What may come as even more of a surprise is my mother’s openness to talking about death. I know it isn’t an easy topic to just toss around over dinner, and unlike birth it is a time of mourning. I do believe though that having healthy relationship with the reality of our immortality is a positive attribute.

This thought occurred to me on memorial day when a couple different conversations transpired. The first was about birth order. I explained how I was the middle child for half of my upbringing, but I’ve been the youngest since my little brother passed away when I was nine. Later that night I was discussing with another friend about how we lost our insurance, and how this was a concern for me coming from a family with a brother that died of Leukemia. There it was again, I was just talking about my life and it naturally included a death within my family. This doesn't always come up, but to not be able to talk about it would be disheartening.

When I reflected on these conversations later I was grateful to have friends who could listen and felt comfortable with the topic. Sometimes it may just be a lightweight tidbit of information, other times I may want to go deeper with my feelings about loosing a loved one, but either way I know that I can talk about it with them. That is why I decide this week I want to share, for the first time, my story about loosing a brother to a terminal illness. I know there will be some tears, but I'm sure we've all been effected by death in someway and I hope that this topic can maybe act as a platform for honoring and remembering those that have gone before us.

How We Got Here

This week I am sharing about my life as a pastor's wife and I thought it would be a good opportunity to document how J and I got here in the first place. Let me just start by saying I am horrible with dates. I do know that I met J when I was 14. My family had just moved to a small town south of Dallas and my parents chose to go to a small Assembly of God church that I didn't particular care for, but God knew what he was doing. At that time J (who is 6 years old than me) was attending Southwestern Assembly of God University and was a part of a singing group that just so happened to perform at the church we were attending.

Shortly after that the worship leader of our church resigned and the pastor called up the group to see if anyone would be interested in filling this vacant ministry role. J answered the call and started leading worship in 1996.

The short story is that we got married 4 years later, but you can read the longer story in my series The Messy Mom's Love Story. From there we felt led to move on to another church where J was plugged in pretty quickly as a part of the worship team. Not too long after that our dear friend who was leading worship moved out to Florida and J stepped in as the music pastor.

In 2005 J was offered a full time position at the church. It would mean forfiting his place on the corporate ladder. I talked about this heavy decision and what it meant for us in a previous blog post.

Last year made 10 years of being at our church and 5 years of J being on staff.

This is a photo from the luncheon they had to celebrate this milestone. This journey of being a pastors wife hasn't always been an easy one, but I wouldn't change it. J has talent in so many areas and could have done almost anything with his life, but his heart for worship and his destiny to lead people into deeper places cannot be denied. In the past 10 years J, the guitar, and I have gone overseas,

across the border,

and to areas demolished by a tragic natural disaster.

The Lord has blessed us with the priveledge of touching numerous lives by spreading the Love of Jesus with this gift. And although we can't travel as much as we used to now that we have children I know that God is still moving in countless ways and I am honored to be one of his vessels.

Photo captions in order from top to bottom:

J is on the far right of this photo. This was the equivalent of a Pentecostal boy band I think it was actually called Zion's cry, but I never did see them perform.

This is an old photo of J in the old sanctuary.

J and I when the church honored him for all his years of service. I know it's blurry, but it's special

The worship team on our first trip to England. J is in the middle, that's one of my friends on the far right before she was married to who her husband who is on the drums, and on the far right (you can barely see him) is my friend Amy's husband.

J in on a mission trip to an orphanage in Accapulco.

J participating in a worship walk through the streets of New Orleans after all of the destruction from Katrina.

J setting up the instruments for the kids for our family music night last year. And yes Z is pantsless, it seems like someone always is for family night.

Completion

Wednesday's are a busy day at the church. J is usually at work for at least 12 hours, which is another reason for the Mon/Tues off deal. Last night began with a fundraiser for the Spanish congregation that meets at our church. They served a nice hot meal of authentic homemade mexican food and all of the proceeds are going toward a VBS that they are going to hold in Mexico this summer.

The meal was immediately followed by a Graduation celebration for some of the girls that were a part of the Revive conference last fall. My mom was in town and it was her idea to make a fruit pizza, and my idea to decorate it with 2011 .

I assume it was good because it was gone before I even had a chance to try it and there were several recipe inquiries. For the record it's basically a giant sugar cookie covered with cool whip/cream cheese mixture, and topped with fruit.

Afterward we headed upstairs for the "ribbon cutting" of the apartment over the coffee shop. This has been J's latest building project and he amazed me with his skills yet again.

J and I with two of our closest friends who came all the way across the country to be a part of this vision.

Pastor D says it looks like it popped right out of Dwell magazine. It does look nice and we had a wonderful time of prayer and celebration over the completion of a building that we as a church have been working on for years!

I am excited to see what else God has in store as a result of all of this labor, and I am really looking forward to lots of rest and family time now that J's work on the apartment is finished.

Top Ten Things You May Not Know About Pastors

There are a lot of misconceptions and unknowns about the occupation of pastoral ministry. There is also an an extremely broad and diverse group of people that fall under this category whether it be legally or spiritually. So although this list may be obvious for some I thought it might be enlightening for others that may not know exactly how the whole church career thing might be different than other jobs.

1. Housing Allowance- Back in the day pastors got parsonages. These days we get our own house, but a portion of each paycheck is considered housing which is part of your salary, but is not a part of your gross income and is not legally taxable. This amount has to coincide with how much you actually spend on your house (apartment or furnishings). We do a lot of renovations on our house each year and so we keep record of that so we know how much to allot for our housing allowance.

2. Different Days Off- Most employees in the business world work Monday-Friday having Saturdays and Sundays to rest. However those weekend days are some of the busiest days for ministers so at our church the pastoral staff is given Mondays and Tuesdays off. I love this because we miss the rush when we go out to eat or have family time, but when our kids are in school it will be difficult to maneuver opposite schedules (any advice for those in this boat is welcome!)

3. Not Synonymous With Preacher- As most of you know my husband is the associate pastor and worship leader at our church. He does preach sometimes when our Pastor is away, but the term Pastor covers many roles besides preaching. Think of it like having a doctorate. When you think of Doctor it is typically a medical position, but you can academically be a Doctor in many different fields. It's like that.

4. They don’t have to wear suits- This might be obvious to many of you, but some people really do think all pastors wear suits. I don't want to start a huge controversy on here, but the truth is some do some don't. At our church they don't. My husband typically wears jeans and a plaid shirt for his Sunday uniform.

5. You don’t have to go to seminary- This is another super duper controversial statement. There was an episode of Friends where Joey was ordained online so that he could officiant Ross's wedding. Being ordained is not always that simple though, some denominations have very specific criteria including being nominated, having a pastoral degree, and real life ministry experience.

6. They can officiate weddings, funerals, and baby dedications- Along with baptisms these are some of the ceremonial traditions that only a pastor can do (conventionally anyway).

7. They work at least 40 hours each week- I was at a friends house and her little boy asked where J was. I answered that he was working at the church. The boy said "Is he practicing his guitar". I thought it was cute. His mom said her boys think that J is up at the church working on music all day. Wouldn't that be nice? The truth is there is a long list of things included in the responsibility of a pastor like overseeing all of the ministries within the church, working on the publications including the bulletin, ads, or mail outs, counseling people in the church, managing the building. The list could go on and on and it will be different for every church. In our case it ends up meaning lots of over time.

8. They are not their own boss- A lot of people have the idea that the Pastor is the head of the church and runs the whole show. However in most churches there is a system of checks and balances just like the government. Our church is non denominational, but we do have a board of ministers outside of the church that we are accountable to and we have a group of elders that have biweekly meetings. These are the guys that determine our salary, benefits, and other major decisions.

9. They may or may not have a formal title- Reverend, Brother, Bishop, Pastor, or just plain Mr. are some of the titles you may see before a minister's names. Once again this depends on the denomination. Some people do refer to my husband as Pastor J when they address him, but if you do call him this don't be surprised if you get a chuckle in response.
10. They are real people- Pastors can be like celebrities in some ways. It's like they are expected to perform on command in order to please an audience and then their lives and families are subjected to a level of criticism that no one should ever have to live up to. I don't feel this way about our church, but I've certainly seen it happen. And I am not saying that spiritual leaders shouldn't be held to a higher standard, or politicians for that matter (ahem, Weiner), but I am saying that Pastors are just people and unless anyone knows of any animals leading a congregation then that is a fact.

J with the youth pastor and lead pastor at a festival promoting our coffee shop ministry.

If I can get this post up by the end of the day I will link up with Oh Amanda's Top Ten.