For example, the first thing J told me when he woke up on mother's day was that he didn't get a card. I said "It's okay. I don't care about cards. Mother's day really isn't a big deal for me." By the end of the day I was exhausted from playing outside with the kids who had gone inside and tracked mud all through the house and this was after a long list of other things that were a far cry from Kodak moments. J was playing guitar for a Sunday night worship service and I was at home on my hands and knees scrubbing mud off the floor realizing that I DO care about mother's day!
I wanted to avoid a repeat of this for my birthday so SEVERAL weeks before the date I sent him an email titled "Birthday Wishes" and it stated exactly what I wanted including that I don't want to go shopping for my birthday, and an amazon wish list for gift ideas. The reason I was so specific was because in years past when he says "how about we go shopping and you can pick out something for your birthday" I hear "I forgot about your birthday and don't feel like doing anything for you, but here is some money."
He ignored my wish list and got me a purse because he knew I needed a new one and he knew I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for. Ironically, I did find what I was looking for at a thrift store (on the right of the photo below) the same day he found this Fossil bag for me (shown on left)!
I told him he obviously did a great job because we both bought almost identical bags and his bag was actually a lot nicer.
I suggested that since I couldn't take my purse back I would return his and then go shopping with the money. He was shocked since that is the exact opposite of what I said I had wanted. This is true, but really what I wanted was to know that he put forth some effort in finding something special for me, which he did. So now I have a new purse and a bunch of other stuff. Happy birthday to me.
5 comments:
My friend & her husband co-taught that book in a young married class at church. I should pick it up! I think it's awesome that y'all bought almost identical bags! Do you remember my birthday when y'all were in Hollywood?? Y'all called me throughout the day, but my mister didn't buy me a present! I totally know what you mean about him putting forth the effort to buy something special!
man, j has really good taste in purses (seriously!) and he obviously "knows" your style SO well as to get one almost exactly like the one you chose. that doesn't happen for too many people. :)
Exactly, I don't know what I want half the time, how is my husband supposed to know?! Great job on communicating your wishes, so many couples have gift frustrations or have Valentine's expectations but they make it a test instead of just saying "here's what I want" or "hey, Valentine's is next week, do you need any gift ideas?" Glad your bday was a success!
Yes! It is all about knowing that he put in the effort! I have tried and TRIED to explain this to my husband but he has some sort of mental block! :) On the other hand, I have had to do some learning of my own and now do a much better job of just TELLING him what I want than I used to!
I think you do have to say exactly what you want to do--I know that I do. Also, I want him to tell me exactly what he wants and what to do as he is hard to buy for. J. did a good job on the purse. I have to pick those out myself--I have to have any outside zippered area on it like the one he picked out for you (but I like the handles on your thrift one better). Happy B-day, not sure what day it is on.
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