SPD

The first half of this pregnancy really has been smooth sailing, other than this one irritation that got to the point that I had to address it.

It started at around week 15. I would feel pain in the front of my pubic bone which was especially bad at night. Rolling over bed was sometimes excruciating. At first I thought this was just a common pregnancy symptom, but as the weeks went on and it got a little worse I began to wonder what the problem was. At one point I couldn't possibly stand on one foot to put on socks or shoes and that is when I realized this was not just normal pregnancy stuff.

After looking into and talking to my midwife it turns out that I have a condition called SPD. It probably sounds worse than it is (too close to STD, although it's nothing like that). It stands for Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. It occurs when the pelvic bone starts to spread too early. The pelvic bone joints are not designed to allow movement, EXCEPT for when a woman becomes pregnant. A hormone called relaxin is produced which loosens all the pelvic ligaments in order to allow the pelvis slight movement at the time of birth. For some reason, the ligaments occasionally loosen too much and too early before birth. This means they can't keep the pelvic joints stable so the pelvis moves. All this is made worse by the increased weight of the growing baby and sometimes the symphysis pubis joint actually separate slightly. The result is pain in the pubic area.

Some of the symptoms are "sharp pain and discomfort when rolling over in bed" or "inability to stand on one leg", which described my condition to a T! I was so relieved to find out I wasn't imagining this, and that I could actually put a name on what I was feeling. After all, knowing is half the battle. Unfortunately the other half of the battle isn't that simple. The other half is figuring out what to do about it and there is no clear answer on this one. One option is going to a chiropractor, which I am considering. At this point with our given financial position I am just kind of praying and weighing (my options that is). The severity can range from mild to severe and I am just hoping that my case will not be that severe.

The Prego Progress Pics

Well, yesterday I attempted to do my maternity photos on my own during Z's nap time and I wish I hadn't. Setting up the backdrop, lights, tripod, camera, and getting myself pulled together was too much. Not to mention the running back and forth to hit the shutter and then pose. Ugh, what was I thinking?

So far I have done the first and second photos in a series of 3. In the end it will include one from each trimesters.



I have definitely been growing. I have gained over 10 pounds so far and the belly button that used to be a never ending mysterious hole has now stretched into an almost flat, but very wide dimple. The baby weighs aproximately 1 pound so I am guessing that she has at least 7 more to gain before the big day. I am sure my husbands t shirt will be stretched to the max by then!

Look Back and Laugh: Donuts

My friend Hannah took this photo at her son's birthday party. The girl on the left is asking Z where his baby sister is and that is my belly pooching out on the right. He is aware that there is a baby on the way, and that he is going to be a big brother. He knows that her name is Sedona, but the cute thing is he calls her "donut"! My only concern is with as much as we have been rehearsing the details of our growing family he is going to start telling people that I have a "donut" in my belly. The thing is, depending on the time of day that could be totally true.

Half Way There

Can you believe October is almost over. I guess I better do my monthly maternity update. For starters, in case there is anyone that didn't catch it in my last post, we did find out that we are having a GIRL! My mom was in town and got to be at the sonogram when we found out. The next day we made pink cupcakes and brought them to the Wednesday night dinner we have at our church. When it was time for dessert I ripped off the tin foil in front of everyone, and they all reacted with cheers and applause. It was one of those unforgettable life moments.

There were many other milestones that took place this past month. For starters I am at 21 weeks, which means I have crossed the halfway mark. I can feel the baby kick now and J has been able to feel her movements some too. Then last week I started feeling braxton hicks for the first time. I know it doesn't typically happen until the third trimester so it scared me a little, but they are not at all frequent or painful so I should be okay. Hopefully that just means that my body will be really prepared when the time comes. Speaking of getting prepared I have already started nesting. ME, NESTING!? I thought that it typically happened right before the baby came, but I read from several sources that it commonly begins at 5 months. Well, in that case I am right on schedule! I've suddenly had this extreme urge to clean and organize and what's even more bizarre is that I have actually gone through with it. I don’t know if this nesting stage will continue on into the 3rd trimester when my energy level begins to mellow out again, but I will take what I can get.

Last but not least I got to park in a designated expectant mother parking spot at Babies R Us.
Pretty big deal if you ask me. There is more to share and I will be posting all week. Hopefully with some new maternity pictures. For now I’ve got to go load the dish washer, and finish stacking up the boxes for J to take up to the attic, and then sweep the floors, and maybe mop too and…

A final word and special announcement

All week I have been talking about women and the ongoing struggle with body image. I know it's a sensitive subject, but it's a big issue and if it isn't dealt with it has the power to destroy lives. That is why as a woman I feel I have some responsibility in changing the way women define their self worth and it all starts with how I view myself.

There is a quote by Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth, that says:

"A Mother who radiates self-love and self-acceptance actually VACCINATES her daughter against low self-esteem."

I remember the first time I heard this quote, before I ever had any children, and it just resonated in me. I need to have love for myself, not in a way that is proud or self-seeking, but as David said in the Psalms to recognize that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. To stop obsessing over how I look or feel like I am perceived and start to focus my energy outward. I always felt like someday I would have a daughter and I could tell her how pretty she was all day long, but if I had a hatred toward myself and my body then my efforts to encourage her would be useless.

Earlier this week I found out that we are going to have a girl! I feel blessed and honored to have a daughter. Her name will be Sedona. In 2006 we traveled to Sedona Arizona and absolutely fell in love with the place.


For someone who has spent their whole life in the suburbs it was refreshing to be in a place that is surrounded by natural beauty. We didn't have any children at the time, but we felt like if we ever had a girl her name would be Sedona. If you were to look up the meaning or popularity of the name Sedona you probably wouldn't be able to find much information. Believe me I know because that is what I did.

It is not a very common name, which just makes me like it that much more. It means a lot to us though because the name represents the beauty of God's creation and as Sedona grows up and goes through good times and bad I want her to know she is in fact a beautiful creation. Even as she stays nestled in my belly right now every part is coming together as the designer has intricately formed and created her to be. What a miracle she is. What a miracle we all are. I can't wait to meet my beautiful little girl.

Captivating

In 2006 I read a book that really helped contribute to the transformation that I shared about in Monday's post. I loved the book so much that I even lead a Bible study to discuss the some of the book's concepts with other women (the first and only time I have ever done that). The book is called Captivating and was written by best selling author John Eldredge along with his wife Stasi. The book talks about the heart of a woman and how each of us has within us the desire to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. The book uses scriptures, movies, songs, quotes, and life experiences as part of the unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul.

There are a lot of wonderful eye opening, heart changing, revelations in the book, but the part about beauty really delves into the body image issue that most of us women struggle with. It does not try to squash the idea that we want to be desired, to be found attractive or beautiful, instead it nourishes it. The book encourages cultivating beauty in the way God intended it to be.

For me this book is one of my all time favorites and I personally would recommend it, although when I was doing some research online and read the Captivating wikipedia article it states that it is "a popular and controversial book in the American/Christian market." I never knew it was consider "controversial", but then again what isn't? At least everything that I am involved in seems to be. I am not saying the whole book is flawless, but you can use your own discretion.

In conclusion, it's a great book that I recommend, especially involving some of what I have been talking about this week. I know it's been out for a while, but if you haven't read it you may want to look it up, or if your like me and it's been a while it may be worth reading again.

Things That Encourage Positive Body Image

Yesterday I ranted a little, and believe me it was light, about negative images of women in marketing. I could go on and on about that, but I really only touched on the Ralph Lauren ad scandal. That is not to say however that there is nothing out there that makes me feel like someone got it right. Here are just a couple of the products that encourage me that the state of women's individuality, inner, and outer beauty are not all going down the toilet!

First of all I believe Dove has done a phenomenal job over the past few years taking a realistic and encouraging approach to beauty products. From the young girl ashamed of her body contemplating not eating lunch, to the middle aged career woman feeling pressure to have surgery in order to succeed in life, Dove has inspired millions to feel comfortable in their own skin. Their campaign for real beauty is something I can definitely give my stamp of approval. Thank you dove for choosing your own unique path in the marketing industry and encouraging us to do the same in our own lives.

Next up is All You magazine. I know this is a far cry from high end fashion magazines or tabloids, which were my guilty pleasures at one time, but I have actually really come to appreciate All You. I subscribed to it just for the coupons ONLY, but in the end was more impressed with the way they represent mothers and women altogether.

I've looked at my fair share of parenting and maternity magazines, but they still only feature a certain type of woman (this is not just about size, but also race, facial features, and age). So unless you look at O magazine and get to see Oprah, who is still airbrushed to the max, it's hard to come by a magazine featuring real women, which All You does, so I give props there.

What about you? Have you seen any ads, products, or magazines that represent natural beauty in a positive light? These are just a couple the things that encourage positive body image that I happen to love and it's a part of Things I Love Thursday at TheDiaperDiaries.net. Check it out.

Is Thin In Again?

It's not that I thought thin ever went out of style, but it just seems like it's been a while since unhealthy skeleton-like models have been in the headlines. I personally could have left that trend back in the 90's with Kate Moss controversies. Unfortunately the excessive use of photoshop has only made matters worse and what used to be malnourished figures has now become an all out freak show physique. That is where the Ralph Lauren ad with model Filippa Hamilton has created quite a stir.

Kudos to Xeni Jardin and the photoshop disasters blog (which is a pretty entertaining site by the way) for bringing this one to our attention. Of course Ralph Lauren didn't like being called a disaster and tried to have the photo pulled from all websites claiming that it was copyright infringement. The ad was removed from that site, but not everyone catered to the request. The editor of boingboing.net responded to the threat by posting this message to Ralph Lauren

"Copyright law doesn't give you the right to threaten your critics for pointing out the problems with your offerings. You should know better. And every time you threaten to sue us over stuff like this, we will:
a) Reproduce the original criticism, making d****** sure that all our readers get a good, long look at it, and;

b) Publish your spurious legal threat along with copious mockery, so that it becomes highly ranked in search engines where other people you threaten can find it and take heart; and

c) Offer nourishing soup and sandwiches to your models."

Since then Ralph Lauren has admitted fault and publicly apologized. I guess that's a small victory there. I would like to see more though, such as In the UK where they are trying to pass legislation that would ban airbrushing and retouching of images aimed at children and teens. I am the type that tries to let my voice be heard when I feel strongly enough about something and I have written many letters, both complaints and compliments and I feel like in some small way they have made a difference. There is a website called about-face.org that gives ideas and instructions for taking action against sexism and negative portrayals of women particularly in advertisements. I just discovered this site, but so far I really like a lot of what they are doing and would recommend joining the cause. I've never been a part of any feminists movements, but still, I feel like we have come too far to let ridiculous fads corrupt the next generation.

Look Back and Laugh: YUCK!

What I am about to share is the cruelest, most disgusting thing I have ever done to myself, but at the time I didn't know it. When I was getting ready to start 2nd grade I figured I was pretty much a full grown woman and needed to start doing things that women do. One day in my quest for beauty I raided the bathroom cabinet to find some hairspray to style my hair when I came across a stick of deodorant. I decided it was about time I started wearing deodorant and so I put some on... MY FACE. I didn't know where it went, but that is what made sense to me at the time. When I had it evenly applied all over, I confidently strutted downstairs for breakfast. My mom immediately did a double take and asked me why my face was all white. I told her that I had put on deodorant and she said "Oh dear, we need to talk" Looking back now I don't know whether to laugh or gag. After that I decided womanhood was going to be too complicated and I would just be a girl for as long as I could.

Body Image

This week I plan on talking about body image. It's something that affects pretty much all women and I have seen some stuff in the media recently that has gotten me riled up enough to want to blog about it.

Honestly, I didn't struggle that much with feeling insecure about my looks until I was out of High School. It's odd, I know, but somehow in my early adult years I got caught up in the struggle of yo-yo dieting, feelings of depression, and even a bout with over the counter weight loss pills. I have struggled with wanting to be what I saw on TV or in the magazines. I was comparing myself to others and of course always fell short. It got so bad that at one point I thought maybe I had body dysmorphic disorder. I hated my skin, my teeth, my eyes, my body (which you could break down into 20 sub categories). Most girls go through this phase and reach dangerously low body weight, but not me. I began to gain more and more weight. I would go on some kind of crash diet and exercise program and then hit a wall and binge like crazy. I turned to food a lot when I felt lonely and insecure. In the end I weighed about 35 pounds over my average healthy weight. Fortunately I was able to get some help through counseling. I didn't go to counseling for body image issues, but like they always say it is usually something else and in this case there was something else that was deeply wounding me and when I dealt with it many other areas of my life sort of fell into place. So I am very grateful for the healing that God has done in me and I am pleased to share that for the past 3 and a half years I would say that I am a completely different woman than I was back then. Of course I get down about the way I look sometimes, and feelings of insecurity do crop up, but I know who I am and have learned to find my true identity through Christ.

As far as where I am at right now, being pregnant is great because you have that special glow and having an expanding waist line is something to be proud of, but on the other hand the acne, stretch marks, and overall blah feeling is a bit of a hurdle when trying to feel good about yourself. I hope that this week will be encouraging, and if anyone is currently struggling with issues of poor body image or insecurity and wants to talk or share any prayer needs feel free to email me, themessymom@gmail.com. There is great liberty in overcoming that battle and I know the relief that comes when you do.

It's Inherent

You know how there are those things that most mom's just do? The things that just come with the territory, and you can try and resist it, but somehow you end up doing them. I shared a little bit about this phenomenon when I talked about momisms last year, but there is more to it than just the things you say. Here is my list of some of the mom traits I have inherited so far.

1. Licking the finger and wiping the face
We've all seen it, kids hate it, but somehow my son always has something on his face and I don't have a wet wipe handy so out comes the wet finger.

2. Having two conversations at once
Mom's have the ability to stop in mid sentence, address the child/children, and jump right back in without taking a breath. Just beware while this skill does work between two mother's, but husbands, sales clerks, etc. may not have the abilty to follow you in conversation.

3. Calling your spouse "dad"
My parents always addressed each other as mom and dad even when they weren't talking to us. I have heard other parents do this too, so I know I am not the only one. I always wondered why they did that, until I had a child. At least when they are young they will repeat your name and call you whatever your spouse does. I have a friend whose daughter calls her mom "babe."

4. Spelling words out
Once again this is for the baby and toddler years, but we automatically spell out anything that could trigger a response with our son. Like, "are you going to bake any c-o-o-k-i-e-s? " or "I am about to put him down for an n-a-p". The only problem we have run into is how to spell m&m's without it being obvious?

So that is my list of 4 things. I hate ending on a 4, because I like lists to be either 3, 5, or 10, but that's all I've got for now. Maybe you could fill in #5 for me. What is it that you do that is a typical parental trait?

He Doesn't Care About Cool

This week I am talking about motherhood, some of the expectations, but more so the realities. I started by sharing how being a mom isn't always that cool, but then again at this point in my child's life I am the only one that has any concept of cool (if you could even call it that). What I mean is that I had dreams and ideas for my baby and just how cool they would be, only to realize that sometimes what is practical or kid-friendly doesn't always line up with what is trendy.

When I was pregnant with Z my husband and I would look at the stuff in the boutiques and talk about how we wanted to raise our child. Not the deep meaningful important stuff, but the shallow fun stuff like what kind of shoes they would wear. I envisioned my child wearing Chuck Taylor's, listening to Cold Play, and playing with organic blocks and everyday he would look like one of the angelic children from the Ralph Lauren ads.



Well, it didn't quite turn out that way. First of all he is cuter than a Ralph Lauren model, but he is a kid and he likes kid things, whether I think they are cool or not. For example I mentioned Barney in my blog post yesterday. It probably goes without saying, but out of all the kid programs that are out there that I wouldn't mind watching Barney is not one of them. I cringed the first time he saw Barney and started requested him by name. I wanted to whisper "You don't like Barney" over and over in his ear while he slept until he was brain washed out of his interest in the purple dinosaur. I used restraint though and let him have his Barney phase. In the end it didn't last long at all and it was actually kind of cute when he would sing I love you. I love me.

Of course sometimes we dress him up in cute outfits, and sometimes he rocks out to cool music (one his favorite songs is by Jon Foreman), but at 2 years old he is not trying to impress, which impresses me a lot. As long as it isn't something that I morally object to I am just going to let him be himself. So who cares if he likes to wear Lightning McQueen hand-me-downs, play with happy meal toys, and watches Thomas the Train. I have learned that I am not raising a rock star, a show dog, or a little clone of myself. I have a CHILD and he deserves to get to be just that.

Works For Me Wednesday

Random Fact about me #6: I know the Greek Alphabet. I learned it back in elementary school and can still recite it. I am sure that I would have forgotten by summer if it weren't for the fact that we learned it in the form of a song. Unfortunately, knowing the greek alphabet has never helped me get anywhere in life, but it does show me just how much a catchy tune can embed something in your mind.

Without even meaning to I have already started to use this teaching method with my 2 year old. We sing little songs daily during mundane tasks to help make the routine a little more fun as well as learning a something along the way.

For example when it comes to getting dressed we sometimes incorporate the hokey pokey or for the pants we do the rhyme from Dr. Seuss Foot Book “left foot left, right foot right, feet in the day, feet in the night.!” It helps him focus when we need to get ready fast, and learning the difference between left and Right is a bonus. When it comes to brushing the teeth we sing a song from dare I say it, BARNEY! Part of the song says “I am brushing my teeth on the bottom cause I’d hate to say I forgot ‘em." and then there is “Oh I am brushing my teeth in the back, I’ve got to get rid of all of that plaque.” And we are still working on this one, because right now a more accurate song for what he does would be “well I am eating my tooth brush and paste, because I just like the way that it tastes.”

I think songs are a great way to learn on any level and it can begin SO young. A lot of the songs we just make up and with my husband being a muscician he likes to get involved too. I know it’s a simple concept as old as the American alphabet, and maybe a little silly at times, but it works for me. To see what is working for other people check out WFMW, at wearethatfamily.com.

Look Back and Laugh: The Bedtime Battle

They should give out gold medals to parents. The kind of stamina, endurance, and drive it takes to raise a child is comparable to that of an olympic athlete. It's you versus the child. Who will win? When it comes to putting my little one to bed at night, you know I have had my struggles.

It used to be the crying, but that isn't as much of a problem anymore. Now that he is a talker (and what a talker he is!) he will try and manipulate you into coming back in the room to get him out of his crib. The bedtime routine begins with a diaper and pj's then once he is all ready for bed we read a story together, I put him in the crib with a bottle and I read a chapter in the Bible out loud. Then I start the musical frog and off I go.

About a minute later you hear THUMP followed by "Oh no I dropped my bottle" Which is interesting how one drops a bottle when they are laying down in a crib and it some how lands on the floor. This can also be applied to blanket or pillow.

Then comes "I need Pee Pee, I need toilet. I NEED TO GO TOILET!" when we first started potty training I fell for this hook line and sinker every time thinking that I would miss the ideal opportunity, but he never really had to go so I quit trying.

Usually after that he starts saying "mama, I want my mama" and that's a toughy because it really is precious, but I can usually withstand the pressure.

Lastly and the biggest weapon of all he says "I wanna read the Bible". The first time I heard this one I thought "oh you have got to be kiddng me?" He is barely two, but somehow I think the kid knows that it would be very difficult for a parent to deny their child a request to read the Bible.

That's not to say that I cave. I am working on a gold medal here. I know that he is tired and needs sleep and I can not give in, except for when I do.

Mom Life Crisis

There are many moments in a mom's life that would be considered worthy of a Hallmark card. When I became a mother I felt nothing short of privileged. It was one of the greatest days of my life. There is nothing like the feeling I get when my son puts his arms around me and says "I love my mama". I don't know that there is any greater calling, anything more beautiful than the image of motherhood.

On the other hand there are some images of motherhood that aren't depicted in the Renaissance paintings or willow tree figurines.

I mean really, when you hear your mama jokes like "Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon" and you realize, oh crap I am a mama. Or when it hits you that your child could step on a crack and break your back at any moment (hopefully I am not the only one that knows this rhyme).

I remember being at the fair last year and a kid had on a white t-shirt that all his friends had signed and written all over in permanent marker. One of the things that stuck out to me about his shirt was that someone wrote "Josh hearts his mommy". I gasped, realizing that this was a joke. WHY would that have to be a joke? It is perfectly fine if 8 year old Josh loves his mommy. I pictured Z being 8 and knowing that it may not be the coolest thing ever to love your mommy and it scared me a little bit.

Scenario #2 happened when I had my babysitter come to a job with me to help out with Z. On the ride there she was playing telling telephone with Z and doing funny voices and one of them was "Z it's your momma calling, I hope you're being good". Only, the voice sounded like a mixture of a witch and some old yankee. Once again why does the mom voice always have to be so nerdy? Does she realize that I am Z's mom and she is impersonating me? I can't believe I am being depicted as an old yankee witch?

Shortly after these incidences and a few others I began to sink into what I call a "mom life crisis". It's different than a midlife crisis because it is not determined by age, but it's similar because you start to feel like you have to rediscover a lost identity. I began wanting to go hang out late with some of my girlfriends, hit the clubs, sing karaoke. Who cares if these are things I never did when I was single or childless. All of the sudden I had the urge to make myself young, cool, and independent. Luckily I never followed through with any of it and my crisis didn't last long.

The point is sometimes motherhood can have you feeling like you are on top of the world, while other times you realize that you are the butt of the joke. That's okay though because I might be a rookie at this, but I have seen enough to know that the rewards far outweigh the sacrifice.

How's Z doing?

Well it's been two weeks since Z's surgery and everyone asks "How's he doing?" Or "How's Z doing?" which both sound the same. He is doing really great. His next appointment is at the end of the month. Right now we don't have to patch him and I am really praying that the next evaluation will go so well that we will be done with eye patches all together! I don't know if it's because he's had to go under the knife, because I am pregnant, or just because I am a mom, but my heart has been flooded with emotions for my little boy lately. A long time ago, before I was a wife or mother, a friend of mine was pregnant with her second child and she told me how one day she watching her daughter play in her room and she just began crying because of how much she loved her. At the time I didn't quite get it, but know I do. In fact it happened to me last night. So I am a little attached right now and I put together this video slide show of Z since having the surgery. Most of it is our trip to northern Kentucky/Cincinnati. Some of the photos are of Z in his suit before and after it was hemmed, and a shot of him passed out at the wedding, and at the airport with the famous penguin luggage. Now you can see for yourself just how Z is doing.

My Brother's Wife & My Former Life

I was born in northern Kentucky, and after my dad's job relocated us to Atlanta and then Dallas somehow the rest of my family all ended up back in Kentucky going to the same church we had attended for 13 years. I mentioned last week that I was going to be returning to that area for my brother's wedding, and believe it or not he married a girl that also grew up going to that church and we all went to the same private school there too. I didn't know her very well back then, but some memories of her stick out in my mind because her name is also Natalie! Now that she is married to my brother she has my maiden name too. I went up to her when the reception was pretty much over, I gave her a hug and said "I was Natalie Smith* once, it's a lot to live up to, but I think you can handle it."

What some of you may not know is that my brother (the one that got married) and my husband also have the same name! Yeah, that means there are two Jeremy & Natalies. I am sure it will be a bit confusing, in fact I've already gotten a text from a friend that was actually meant to be sent to the other Natalie. We have had two Jeremys for 10 years now though, so I think we can handle this.

The other Jeremy and Natalie are also about the same age apart as my husband and I are. Funny how at one time my brother said he would never date anyone younger than me and didn't exactly approve of the 6 year age difference between my husband and I. Oh the irony. So now our family is complete. Out of the 6 of us (me, my 2 brothers, and our spouses) I am the youngest and married someone older than my brothers and my oldest brother married someone younger than me.

I know it's all a little confusing, but that's my family for ya. I am so happy for my big bro and I wish him and his bride all the best because I think Jeremy and Natalie deserve it (wink wink).



*For those who know my maiden name you are probably really confused. I had to use an alias last name and Smith was the most generic I could think of.

GUESS THE SEX

Wow, two posts in one day, I guess I'm making up for lost time. Today I scheduled my next sonogram which should tell us the sex of the baby and they are able to get me in a lot sooner than I expected. I honestly have not even been thinking about it. In fact I have been patting myself on the back for being so patient and relaxed with this pregnancy, but now that I know the grand reveal is right around the corner I feel as giddy as a 12 year old at a Jonas brothers concert. Granted it's a different kind of giddy, but let's just say I haven't been this excited in a long time. I have to remind myself though that it doesn't always go as planned. If this baby doesn't cooperate they may not be able tell us the gender.

I don't care if I am having a boy or a girl, but what I don't want to hear is "I couldn't get a good look, but there's an 80% chance it's a..." That is what happened with Z. I hate that! I want to know one way or the other and not be tormented with odds, because my baby is either 100% boy or girl, so percentages only torment me. Whew, thanks for letting me vent about that.

Anyway, If I had to guess, I would say it's a boy, but I really don't have an inkling of intuition this time around. So now the question is what do you think I am having? Just throw something out there it will be fun to see what other people think? If we do find out I will post the results when I do my maternity update later this month. Thanks for sharing this moment with me.



Here are what some consider clues...

1. I did have morning sickness that lasted until about 16 weeks
2. The heart rate at the last appointment was 160, but it was 140 the month before
3. I can't tell if I am carrying high or low, but it feels LOW
4. I have had some pretty severe breakouts
5. I have a basketball shaped belly (a really soft somewhat deformed one, but whatever)

I'm Back

I haven't written in about a week which is by far the longest hiatus on the messy mom blog. I had planned to keep you posted on my trip to Kentucky and my brother's wedding, but I didn't have the time or the internet access to do so and I just got back late last night. So today I have been trying to catch up on my email, blogs, Face Book, and work assignments. It's hard to believe how much of my life revolves around the internet. I know I am not the only one though. Our church had a camp out the week of Z's surgery which meant I wasn't able to attend. However that night on Face Book I noticed that many of the campers that were there had updated their status. "The stars are so beautiful", "worship was great", "having fun at the church camp out" and I could just picture them all around the campfire with their iphones and I wondered if there was anyone at the church camp out that was NOT online?"

I remember the first time I heard about the internet. My brother and his friends were talking about the world wide web. It was described as a source of information from around the world accessed through your computer. They talked about whether or not any of them have seen or used this "world wide web". At the time I had no clue what the internet really was and all I could picture was some kind of science fiction spider web in outer space. Not long after that we had internet access in our home and I learned that if you patiently waited for the end of the dial tones, buzzes, and beeping you could log on to this internet thing and look up web sites about your favorite band, or write letters to your friends via email.

Remember those days? The internet was simpler, more expensive, and less portable. It really wasn't that long ago, but yet having gone a few days without the internet I wonder how what life was like before. Anyway, I am back now and I do have a lot to share, which I plan on getting all caught up on this week.

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire...

Yesterday, we flew from Dallas to Cincinnati. Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life. Maybe I am a little over dramatic. Sure, it could have gone a lot more smoothly, but it also could have been a lot worse. Our goal was to get to Cincinnati and we did, even if it was 5 hours later than expected.

When my mom booked the flights using her flying benefits she didn't get a ticket for Z because children under 2 fly for free. Of course my friends and readers may already know that Z had his 2nd birthday 3 weeks ago, which means he technically does not fly for free. We were going for the "don't ask don't tell" strategy. Unfortunately they did ask. Only when the ticketing agent asked for his date of birth I made up a date, A DATE THAT MADE HIM OLDER THAN HE ACTUALLY IS! So, turns out I am a horrible liar. Her response was, "that can't be right because he would be too big", meaning he would not be flying for free and would need a ticket. That's when J stepped in and gave a date in December of 2007. Then we turned around, did 3 hail marys and were on our way*.

Assuming the worst part was over we made it through security and to the gate just about the time that a storm cloud hovered over the airport and started dumping buckets of rain causing all the flights to be delayed. We tried to keep Z entertained while waiting, 1. for our names to be cleared on the standby list and, 2. for the plane to actually return to our gate, because until that happened we weren't going anywhere.

Several hours, temper tantrums (from all 3 of us), and phone calls later we were finally boarding the plane. As I went down the jet bridge I had Z's penguin suit case trailing behind me.

I accidentally hit it with my foot and it started rocking back and forth. I couldn't get to go back on it's wheels as it kept banging against the back of my leg. I started moving faster as if trying to escape from a rabid attack penguin. That's when the man behind me shouts "That penguin is kickin'your butt". Well, isn't that the story of my life?

We made it through the flight with little too complain about and on the way off the plane a woman was commenting on how cute Z was and just casually asked "how old is he?" J answered, but I was thinking to myself "I am not sure I even know anymore. Why does everyone keep asking me that!? We don't want to talk about it, leave me alone!"



*I thought I would insert a disclaimer here just in case. No we are not catholic that was just a little guilt ridden sarcasm and no I do not condone lying, we felt terrible about it.