Monday, August 23, 2010

Fairness and the First Born

We all want to be fair when it comes to our children, but lets be honest it isn't always that simple. There aren't quite as many photos and you may not keep every little sentiment for the scrapbook with each subsequent child like you do with the first born. The first one comes along and you watch their every move. Their first drool, first coo, first time to wear brown, you name it it's documented. They color all over the novel you are reading and you tear out the pages to hang on the fridge.

I heard a stand up comedian once (I think it was Jim Gaffigan, but not sure) who talked about this very situation. He described how every move is photographed and filmed with the first baby and then the second one comes along and you are excited because they are taking their first steps. Someone mentions the idea of getting the video camera and when you realize you would have to go ALL THE WAY UPSTAIRS to get it you decide to just take a mental snapshot instead.

Although it may be different with the second one it's not necessarily a bad thing. I was so anxious for the next milestone with Z. Checking for his first tooth, watching and waiting on the edge of my seat for him to crawl and maybe even bribing him at times. I was slightly obsessive and technical about each achievement. I counted how many steps he could take without falling. After several days of this, I was counting up to 63 steps and I finally decided I could officially say he was walking.

With SJ I may not dote over her quite as much as I did with Z, but I am also not as anxious for her to grow up. Sure I get excited when I happen to notice her doing something new. I want her to do all the things she needs to learn to be a healthy thriving baby, but I am perfectly content with the stage she is in. No bribing and obsessing this time because now I know that crawling, walking, and talking, will come soon enough!

Is just me, and the comedian that I mentioned, or does anyone else feel like they may not have reacted to every milestone the same with each child?

2 comments:

Crystal said...

I totally swore I would treat the 2nd just as I did the 1st, but it gets harder having 2, to take as many pictures, or record their every milestone. I feel like their is so much more to do and I have so much less energy to do it all, so I want to just enjoy being with the kids. (Though I still wish I could hire a photographer to follow us around all day, everyday to capture those moments!)
I do feel more 'at ease' though with #2, I definitely enjoy him and have more fun with him then I remember with my first- which I feel awful for!
The one thing I have done, where my friends have failed, is keep up with the professional pictures- with my daughter we did, 3, 6, 9, 12, 18 months and every birthday following (apart from some special occassion), so with my son we have adhered to the same standard so far- though it is far more expensive to it here on Guam then it was with a JCPenney's within reach!! Actually we are about to go get his 18 month ones done in a couple of weeks! I am very excited!

{amy} said...

I certainly didn't try to hurry Cody up like I did with Elizabeth! I think I saw how quickly it goes by! Now, the one thing I did differently than my mom was take a lot of pictures. I gave her such a hard time growing up, because there were so many more pics of just Kerry! There were bunches of us together, though. He was only 15 months older than me, so I should have simply congratulated her for managing to get pics of us at all! I also started scrapbooking when Cody was a baby, so I think that helped!