The Messy Mom and 6 kids!

Yesterday I talked about some friends of mine with 4 kids and one on the way. Well, because they are such loving people with big hearts (and a big house) they have also temporarily taken on legal guardianship of their niece because her mom was in an accident. A couple weeks ago my friends were going out of town and I stepped up to the plate to watch all 4 of their kids, plus the niece, AND my own son, that's a grand total of 6 kids for 24 hours! For some of you moms this is your everyday life, and I applaud you. For me this was a huge undertaking.

The first thing I did was go to the house to get the mini van so that I could pick the kids up from school, except when I got there, there was no mini van! They had taken it with them when they left. I assumed they were leaving it. They assumed that my SUV was full size and could hold 6 kids. Now, I might have been hanging out with a one year too long, but all I could think was that this was a big UH OH!

I had to think fast because it was time to pick up the kids. So I dropped Z off with  J and headed for the schools. I knew it was bad to have 4 kids in the back with only 3 seat belts, but we weren't far from home and I didn't have a choice. Unfortunately shortly after I left the school, there was an even bigger Uh Oh. I was being pulled over. All the kids are shouting asking me why there is a cop behind us and I figured that is was probably because some of them were not wearing seat belts.

Well, I was wrong, I was being pulled over for speeding in a school zone. I thought we were out of the school zone and I wasn't driving that fast, that is why I could have sworn we were being pulled over for something else. The officer asked me to roll down the back window, I reluctantly complied. He asked the kids if they were all buckled up and what he got in response was a each of them talking over one another, arguing back and forth, shouting, and giving random tid bits of information.

"HE IS SITTING ON MY SEAT BELT" "DID YOU KNOW SHE IS OUR COUSIN?" "SHE LIVES WITH US BUT SHE IS OUR COUSIN"

The officer said that is fine, I just need to make sure you are all buckled up.

"MINE'S BROKEN" "OUR MOMMY AND DADDY ARE GONE" "STOP IT! I AM TRYING TO PUT ON MY SEATBELT" "THAT'S MINE" "NO, IT'S NOT"

The 6 year old started to dispute the officer's instructions to which I shouted back- 

"YOU DO NOT ARGUE WITH THE POLICE!"

It was absolute pandemonium. I was trying to remain calm, but I was freaking out as I was frantically searching for my driver's license. I couldn't find it, so he just took my name and insurance. He was gone for quite some time and the kids were asking if they were going to go to jail and continued to bicker amongst each other. I was thinking up how I would explain to my friend that I lost custody of her children and I asked the kids to be quiet so that I could focus. "What is focus?" the youngest asked. "IT MEANS STOP TALKING!" I blurted out.

 As the officer came back he explained that the insurance I had given him was expired and I had a tail light out. I was seriously ready to get out of the car and put my hands behind my back so that he could hand cuff me right then and there, but by the grace of God he didn't even give me a warning, he just said thank you and gave me my insurance back. I don't think he was prepared for the mayhem that he encountered by pulling us over.

 
I was getting the impression that what he was really saying was "Lady, you and your kids are giving me a head ache. I have had drug busts go smoother than this. Please just get out of here." So he let me go even though I was speeding, had a tail light out, had no license, no proof of insurance, and children that were not in safety restraints. Although, for the record I did have my license and a valid insurance card on me and I was able to locate them as soon as we got home, I was just too frazzled to find them when it mattered. So that was the first 15 minutes of the 24 hours that I was responsible for 6 kids.

Surprises

I talked about The Kid Swap on Monday and I am fortunate enough to have a friend nearby that is willing to swap on a regular basis. Today she watched Z while I was at a photo shoot and tomorrow I will watch her children while she goes to her Doctors appointment.

I met this friend 11 years ago at church. Her and her husband had a precious little blond haired, blue eyed girl, who was the picture perfect flower girl in our wedding.

Things were going well for their little family and they were ready to try to have another baby, but it just wasn't happening. My dear friend suffered from one miscarriage after the other and was unable to have anymore kids.

They aren't the type of people to just leave at that, so they took this as an opportunity to reach out. They started to participate in a foster care program. To make a long story short they ended up adopting 3 African American children. They also are currently the legal guardians of their 7 year old niece whose mother was in an accident. You would think they wouldn't have any desire or room to babysit my little boy, but they insist. He usually goes over there once a week and he loves it. They used to brag about how they are done with babies and toddlers so they can have fun with Z and send him home spoiled. Little did they know that they weren't quite done yet.

I nearly passed out 7 months ago when I got the news that my friend who was unable to have children for the past 11 years was pregnant and the Doctors reported that she was carrying as a normal healthy pregnant woman should. So now she is just a couple months away from having another baby, making them a family of seven. They are such amazing people. I feel so blessed to have them in my life. I can't wait to meet the new little one. They are waiting to find out the gender, because I guess they just really like surprises.




Z with the kiddos at my friend's house September 2008.

Look Back and Laugh: Boys Will Be Boys

I used to watch twin boys part time. They lived in an upscale neighborhood in Atlanta where they had two nannies and I was additional help. Their parents were successful veterinarians. They went to a private Jewish school where they took classes like cooking, and french, and all this while they were still in the 1st grade! They both had their own personal computers in their room at a time when computers weren't as accessible as they are today. They were the only kids in a house that had a gigantic fish tank with an exotic eel, several large screen TVs, a poodle, and Cessna.

One night we were eating dinner and the boys were getting a little out of control. They began to dance around the table serenading me with a song they wrote themselves. It sounds sweet, but the words to this song repeated "you don't have a penis" over and over again.

What can I say? This is true, I don't have a penis, nor do I want one. The thing is their was no shortage of things they had they could have taunted me with, but penis? Really? That was probably the one thing that I wasn't envious of. Boys, boys, boys.

Kid Swap

Have you ever seen the show Wife Swap? It is not as kinky as it sounds, although it is still pretty ridiculous. The premise is that two families trade moms for a period of time to see what it is like to live with a family or mom that is totally different than what they are used to. It has had numerous controversial episodes as you can imagine.

I would never ever swap families with anyone. I just wouldn't want to put another family through that. I am totally open to swapping children though. Not at the same time, that would defeat the purpose, but the idea is that you can getting some free babysitting by taking turns watching your friend's kids.

I recently made arrangements for Z to be gone for the weekend. The original purpose was because of some scheduling conflicts at work, but when I ended up with a horrible stomach virus I was REALLY glad that someone else was tending to my toddler. The night he left J said “I miss Z already, I don’t know if I can handle a weekend without him”. My response was “Well, you weren’t here when he was grabbing my shirt as I puked my guts out in the toilet, so excuse me if I am not as sentimental as you are about having a break.” Yeah, I can get a little cranky when I am sick. The point is everyone needs some time off once in a while.

The End of Earth... Week.

I can honestly say that I have had a blast celebrating earth day this week. So much so, that we plan on making earth day festivities a new family tradition. For example this week we planted some trees and herbs outside. A few of the photos I took are shown above. We also rode our bikes instead of taking the car to get sno cones, and we were pretty successful at my new goal of keeping the lights off during the day by relying on natural lighting. After a week of this I was beginning to feel one with nature.
Then today when I went out to my car I was greeted by two huge globs of bird poop on the driver side door,
YUCK! It did serve as a reminder for me that nature can be nasty, being green can be tricky, and the most "natural" habits don't always come so naturally. That's okay though because if we are all doing our part to protect God's wonderful earth, even the smallest efforts can only help. Little by little working together we can make a difference, and this week I felt like just maybe I could start to do a little bit more.

Frugal Earth day

One thing I love about going green is that it typically goes hand in hand with frugal living. So as if you haven’t seen enough of these things on The Today show and Oprah here are my Top 10 ways I save money while helping to save the environment.

1."Thrifting", if you have hung around this blog for any length of time you know I am all about thrift store shopping which is just another form of recycling.

2. Buying anything used. It’s not just about recycling clothes we also drive used cars and own refurbished computers, all of the furniture in our house is used too.

3. Energy Star Appliances. Okay for this we went new, but it is still good for the environment because they use less energy and it is great for our monthly bills!

4. Speaking of energy bill I mentioned at the beginning of the week that my new goal is to keep the lights off during the day. It is going quite well, along with that we use the energy effencient light bulbs all throughout our home.

5.Fuel efficient driving. I may not have the most fuel efficient vehicle (not that it is the worst either), but I do my best to drive in ways that conserve gas. That means minimal idoling, ac only when necessary and easy on the acceleration. I also calculate my MPG when I fill up just keep myself in check.

6.Cooking with homegrown ingredients. You know it’s healthy and pesticide free, plus way cheaper than buying it from the store. If you can’t plant a garden yourself try the local farmers market.

7. Hanging clothes on the line. I love the smell of clothes hung out to dry and yet again another example of going green and saving money.
8.Making your own household cleaners. They are non toxic and cheaper.

9.Eating Leftovers. What can I say, waste not want not.

10. Filtered water instead of bottled water. Saves you money and doesn’t use plastic.

These are just some of the ways that I am trying to go green, not that I have mastered them, but you have to start somewhere right?



For more Frugal tips check out Life As Mom

Things I Love Thursday: Reusable Bags

I have finally jumped on the band wagon of reusable shopping bags. Starting in January I banned myself from getting plastic bags at the grocery store. It is one resolution that I have taken very seriously. In some cases this has meant going shopping later because I don't have my bags with me, or just getting a few items and not using any bags at all. You get some strange looks leaving the store with your arms full holding a dozen eggs, milk, bananas, pretzels and your receipt but after having just a couple of these incidents I have trained myself to always have reusable bags on hand.

I love my bags because I feel like I get to show my personality with some of them. I even decorated one by adding to the design with some permanent marker. I also love how much stuff you can fit in them. It is so much easier to carry two bags full of groceries over your shoulder, rather than have 10 little plastic bags looped around your wrists.

The resuable bags rarely cost more than a dollar, but you know me, why a pay a dollar when you can pay less? I am always keeping my eye out for cool totes at thrift stores and yard sales where they cost around 50 cents. There are also lots of opportunities to pay absolutely nothing for these bags. I got two of these for free yesterday and the 3rd one was a freebie I ordered online.

My husband installed hooks in our kitchen where I can hang them after I put the groceries away. They sit right above our recycling bin and every time I leave the house they are in my line of sight, reminding me that they need to go back in the car.

It has only been 4 months that I have been plastic bag free, but I do feel like I have found my groove with this system and there is no turning back now.



For more "Things I love Thursday" go to the diaper diaries.net

Works For Me Wednesday: Cloth Diapers

I have mentioned in previous posts that I use cloth diapers on my son and that a big part of the reason I felt compelled to go for the reusable diapers was because of what it does for the environment. In honor of earth day I thought I would share the my cloth diapering routine in video format. I have used cloth diapers for 19 months now, and not only do they work for me, but they also work towards less diapers in landfills, more trees that aren't being turned into diapers, and a cleaner environment all the way around. Happy earth day!







Before I come across as haughty I should also mention that I use disposables diapers too and I am not anti-disposables. I just feel that we all have some part to play and this is one small way that I can have a positive impact.

Look Back and Laugh: Littering IS Not Cool

This story is more of a look back and "learn". I learned very early on that littering was unacceptable. Nothing gets my mom fuming like seeing someone litter. The only exception is my dad who occasionally throws tooth picks out the car window. He says it is no different than a twig falling from a tree.

I will never forget the day that we were busted for littering. I was in 6th grade and had a few friends over. It was a mixed group of guys and girls from the church. There was a take out pizza place at the end of our street and we decided to walk down there for some bread sticks. On the way back one of the boys threw the empty container into the woods. I cringed, but kept my mouth shut because I wanted this boy to think that I was cool.

As we approached the house with our bread sticks still in hand, I guess my mom's inner motherly radar must have been going off, because she immediately noticed that we were not carrying a bag or box. She asked us about the missing container and it came out what had happened. All of the sudden it was like she transformed into some kind of monster from a science fiction movie and with wide eyes, pierced lips, and a red face, she hovered over us and with an intimidating growl she commanded- "GO GET IT." We had to walk all the way back to retrieve the littered materials and throw it in the trash where it belonged. I was so embarrassed, but now I don't even think about littering or trying to impress anyone who does because it is just not cool.

Free Reusable Shopping Bags at H.E.B

One way that I keep things green around here is with reusable shopping bags (I'll share more on that later this week.) That is why I couldn't resist mentioning this opportunity for those that live near and H.E.B. to get a free shopping bag. On Earth Day (April 22), from 3:00-7:00 pm if you bring in 5 or more plastic bags to be recycled you will receive one free reusable shopping bag. Just one more reason I love: H.E.B

Messy and Green

Last Wednesday was Tax Day and this Wednesday is Earth Day, so we are dealing with a different kind of green. I have never been accused of being a tree hugger and I don't drive a hybrid, but I do like to participate in my fair share of eco friendly products and practices.

This week I am wanting to do something above and beyond what I do to protect our earth on a regular basis. My goal is to try and conserve energy by keeping the lights off during day light hours. This is something I have thought about a lot, but never put in a full hearted effort. I will report back on this blog for accountability. I will also be sharing some of the other ways I live green and I would love to hear what you are doing too. Let's go green together.

Money isn't everything.

Everything I talked about this week involved money in one way or another. From the obsessive saver to the compulsive spender, all of us have a relationship with money.

The other day I was at Sonic. For those of you that aren't familiar with the chain it is a fast food restaurant that is laid out like an old drive in and car hops deliver your food to you. All I ordered was 99 cents Frito wrap and I had exact change, but the car hops do accept tips. As I wait for my food I am contemplating whether to give her a tip or not. I only ordered one thing, it takes no time at all to bring out. If I were to calculate gratuity it would be an 18 cent tip. If I give her two dollars then that is giving a tip that is worth 100% of my bill. I am going back and forth on the issue of whether or not the car hop deserves it, would even appreciate it, and if I can afford it. As I am engaging myself in this mental dialogue I realize how much time I have spent contemplating whether or not to give some one 92 cents! Is that really what it comes to?

I think I have been in an abusive relationship where I have let money control me and I have had it! If money wants to hang out I am cool with that, if money doesn't have time for me, I don't care. You won't find me waiting by the phone for cash to call, or constantly checking my face book to see if mula has any new posts.

I only use this silly analogy to say that although we do need to use wisdom and be good stewards of our resources we also need to realize that money isn't everything. I know sometimes for me personally it can be so consuming. The quote that has come to my mind in talking about taxes, the recession, and finances this week has been "hold everything loosely" and you know what? I gave that girl the stinkin' 92 cents, I just wish it wouldn't have taken me so long.



For those of you justifying whether or not you should tip at Sonic, rest assured, that is not what this is about.

The Apprentice

This week I am talking about money, which gives me a chance to post meaningless content about the reality show whose theme song says it all "money- money- money- money". That would be The Apprentice. I got sucked into this show a few years ago. First it was just about giving a handful of people weekly projects and firing them one by one based on performance. The contestant left standing in the end gets a big time position working for Donald Trump. Then they changed it into book smarts vs. street smarts to see if having a higher education would affect their abilities in the business world. Now they use "celebrities" as the contestants and the winner gets money donated to the charity of their choice.

The show has slowly deteriorated over the years. It's like watching an animal get hit by a car and suffer on the side of the road. Who would want to watch that? I do I guess, sometimes anyway. If I were to pick a winner for this season it would be Jesse James.

He seems humble and geniune. In other words, the complete opposite of Donald Trump.

Worth The Cost

I am a bean counting, penny pinching, tight wad, or at least that's what I've been told. Even for those of us that are frugal fanatics there are some times you just have to lay down some cash to get the job done right. For example when I was pregnant I registered for a $35.00 hand held breast pump because there was no way I could justify getting a $300 electronic pump! A big part of the breast milk advantage is that it's free right? Not to mention I used to work on a farm and used milk machines to pump milk from the goats, so the idea of using a similar mechanism on myself kind of weirded me out.

When the time came that I needed to give my son a bottle I used the manual pump. A couple months later I went back to work and as a part time working mom I used the pump quite frequently. It didn't take long before the cup attachment became entirely deformed. That is when I decided I needed to bite the bullet and get an electronic breast pump. After doing some research I decided to go with the Philips Avent Isis iQ Duo Twin Electronic Breast Pump (I guess the longer the name the more money it costs). It is listed on the Avent website for $350.00, but I got mine on Amazon for $255.
The first time I used it I was astonished by how much more milk I could get and how quickly. I don't know how I ever lived without it and I still loathe even the memory of the months that I spent using a hand pump. I never thought I would get so excited about a breast pump. It's kind of embarrassing to even talk about it, but the Avent electronic pump is one of the things I love!

I am not nursing anymore, but I have the pump stored away for when it can be used again, which will make it that much more of a worth while investment.




This blog post is a part of Things I love Thursday over at the diaper diaries

Happy Tax Day!

I just wanted to wish everyone a "happy tax day". I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but taxes might be happy for some people. Like for instance, the type A personalities who love crunching numbers, or maybe someone looking forward to a big rebate.

As for everybody else who feels like doing taxes is a beating, you are not alone. I know how it is, year after year you swear next year will be different, but each time you find yourself waiting until the last minute. You painfully sift through mounds of disorganized receipts and forms as you pray to God that you won't ever be audited.

That's me, and add to that being a self employed small business owner. I might as well walk around in sack cloth and ashes on April 15th because it is a time of mourning the death of half of my income.


I feel like I can identify with the character Ana Pascal from the movie "Stranger Than Fiction". Ana is a free spirited bakery owner (played by Maggie Gyllenhaal) who is audited by an IRS agent (played by Will Farrell). I think I might have to make that movie a tax time tradition. "Stranger Than Fiction" could be to April 15th what "It's a Wonderful Life" is to Christmas time.

So for anyone feeling bad about taxes, take cheer I am sure there is some one out there that probably has it worse than you do. Here is a photo of J a couple years ago preparing our taxes and this is just to hand the paper work over. We actually pay someone to do the rest.

See I told you it could be worse.
That is why I just wanted to take this moment to wish everyone a happy tax day, whatever your financial situation may be, and if it is your birthday, well then happy birthday too.

Look Back and Laugh: buy us a pool

This week I am talking about money. We all have to come to the realization at some point in life that things cost money and money isn't that easy to come by, or in the words of our parents "money doesn't grow on trees". When I was 7, my best friend and I, who lived next door to each other, desperately wanted a swimming pool. We tried to think up a way to make our dream a reality. Our first idea was to use the power of entertainment to convince our parents that this would be a worthwhile purchase. So we wrote a song to woo our fathers. It went something like this

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Will you buy us a pool? We'll clean it for you every day and you'll have mommy to yourself"

This is truly a look back and laugh moment for me. We knew what dad wanted most and that was to have mom to himself. Anyway, though it may be hard to believe, we did not win them over with song. So we decided to take matters into our own hands and save up the money ourselves. We looked for loose change beneath seat cushions, we sold rocks, anything we could think of to get this pool. We collected all of our earnings in an old tupperware container and by the end of the summer I think we might have had $8.00 which if I remember correctly paid the admission for us to get into a local water park for a day. We still had a fun summer none the less. I will say though, that when I was 15 and moved to Dallas my parents bought a house with a nice underground pool, so in a way I think the song did pay off.

Recession

It's official. I guess it's been official for some time now, we are in a recession. I was photographing a woman last week who was one of the many casualties of this economic downturn. She was laid off after working in the same office as a legal secretary for 25 years. She was desperately seeking work and asking me about employment opportunities. When she mentioned substitute teaching I told her I subbed a few years ago and she wanted to use my name for a reference. I gave her my card and told her I would love to help in anyway that I could. I am hearing more and more stories like this everyday and even as my own families financial stability has been seriously threatened I feel like the recession is starting to trickle down and become more of a reality to me.

Just 3 months ago I wrote "The Messy Mom: 2008 Year in Review" and I said this in reference to the economic crisis:

"My economy hasn't really changed much. If it wasn't for the news I might be encouraged by low gas prices, awesome coupon deals, and steady work."

I can't say that anymore. I have had family and friends that have lost their jobs. My bank and credit card company were bought out. Even the gym I belonged to went out of business. Gas prices are back on the rise. The only resolve our government has at this point is more debt, which will be passed on to our children and their children.

There is no denying that money effects us all and that is what this weeks topic is going to be about. Don't worry it isn't going to be as much of a downer as this post has been. Although things might be a little scary right now, I know that God is in control. In the end what we are all facing is just another chapter and perhaps in this time that we feel the poorest we will learn the most valuable lesson.

Meet Everybody Else

This week it was my mission to assign nick names to some of the loved ones I talk about on this blog. I got two done, J and Z, not to be confused with Jay-Z, that’s a whole 'nother blog. I kind of planned on doing more, but that’s okay, because although there are many other people that I might write about I can use “titles” other than nick names.

For example:

My parents will be called my mom and dad. Easy enough, I talk about them a lot in real life too and this is what they go by.

I also have my two older brother’s which I will call “my brothers”. Are you sensing a pattern here?

Note to self: Need to take an updated photo with brothers

Then there are my in laws. You may not hear about them as often and it is not because I don’t love them just as much. I do, but while I feel like I know where the line is with what I can share about my own family it gets a little blurry when it comes to the in laws. Treacherous terrain to be approached very delicately.


Then there are my friends

my neighbors

and the others.

I may also throw an occasional curve ball from my past where names have been changed to protect the innocent, but I always clarify when I do that.

Well, I hope this helps make for a smoother writing style as I continue on this blogging journey. Now if I could just find someone to show me how to change text font when embedding a link. Anybody?



Photo captions in order from top to bottom:
My parents with Z
Me and my brothers in 1982
My mother and sister in law with J
Some friends of mine at my baby shower
Me and Z with some of my neighbors
The Others from the show "Lost" representing anyone else I forgot to mention

Meet Z

Z was born in the middle of the night on labor day at a birth center here in Texas. It was one of the greatest moments of of my life, I felt like he was perfect in every way. That was almost 2 years ago and even though he has challenged my idea of perfection since then, he has still exceeded my expectations of what it would be like to have a child.

It doesn't matter if I don't get out as much as I used to because Z is an endless source of entertainment.

He makes me laugh every single day. He makes me want to cry about once a week and pull my hair out about twice a day. Yet, having him grab my legs and call me mama is the best feeling in the world.

Z takes after his dad in a lot of ways. He LOVES music, electronics, and tools.



He also takes after me in a lot of ways too.


Um yeah.

Z is happy, inquisitive, expressive, and cuddly (which is one my favorite parts). I can't imagine life without him.


A few Z links:
The Messy Mom: New Life
The Messy Mom: One last look at life as a mom
The Messy Mom: Discovering Music
The Messy Mom: Babies First Glasses